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Upcoming FHDRA

(2 Posts)
BingeOnChocolate Wed 01-Jul-20 11:21:57

Hi all,

We have a FHDRA upcoming in the next two weeks following DSD mum withdrawing access for no reason. She initially cited a police allegation but the police have confirmed this was malicious and false and provided us a written response to confirm.

Anyhow, DP has sent 5 letters over the last few weeks recorded delivery around reinstating their shared care agreement (previously arranged without court) and all have been ignored. We received a text with a future proposal - more like a demand than up for discussion - which would mean DSD wouldn't be able to attend her clubs so DP wrote a letter back detailing why it wouldn't be fair in DSD interest and suggested 2-2-5-5 which was similar but more structured. Yet again, she's ignored including a letter advising she missed the 14 days to respond and extended it by another week.

She's now unblocked DPs number to confirm weekend contact only. No future contact. DP text back confirming he would collect DSD but can she please respond to letters re future contact for DSD continuity. The response to this has been 'weekend contact is arranged. This is your response to the letter.' ..... hmm

On Friday we need to submit our position statement and letters that have been sent ready for the virtual hearing. Can I ask if anyone knows, what is the courts view on ignoring all correspondence from the other party but also, giving access last minute. We've had 48 hours notice today but the other week was 5 hours notice and equally had 40 minutes notice of DSD Mum withdrawing access again.

DP is also going to ask for an interim order given summer holidays have always been 50/50 so a week each and we've annual leave booked ready for DSD. He doesn't want DSD Mum to continue to use DSD as a weapon. She's only 6 but has for the last 18 months told anyone who will listen she wants to live with her Daddy and see mummy when she isn't busy. Her Nan, DSD Mums Mum, has confirmed they have been dismissing her because 'she's saying it not on your weekends'. DSD has also been informed by Mum she's going to be asked who she wants to live with and if she doesn't say Mum then she'll be really upset and hurt. We don't talk about what's going on and have shielded her for the last 3 years but it's clear mums trying to parental alienate along with the Nan.

DP is self representing for now but he wants to understand how the judge for the first hearing will take ignoring contact proposals (which she requested!), giving contact as and when last minute, withdrawing contact for no reason and has been informed by SS and CAFCASS contact has no grounds to be stopped. DSD has missed out on all her virtual club classes running - mum doesn't take her to any - and has missed out on being carefree and happy whilst spending time with both her parents and now Mum is trying to make her choose.

OP’s posts: |
BingeOnChocolate Wed 01-Jul-20 11:26:24

Forgot to add. Court started after late 2019 Mum withdrew a weekend DSD was meant to come because DP wouldn't swap Christmas Day as it was his year for DSD. He went to mediation and Mum ignored two letters from them so they closed the case and sent the C100 citing she's refused to engage. Prior to this, since 2018 she's threatened to withdraw contact 28 times with one reason being she wants to rethink the number of nights as she wants more maintenance. He still paid maintenance despite 50/50 as he wanted to make sure DSD wasn't impacted if he stopped paying in line with CMS who advised he shouldn't have to. Once 2-2-5-5 is in place with an official court order, he's discussed maintain maintenance will stop and we will pay it into a savings account for DSD instead

OP’s posts: |

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