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2nd lease of life - hope it’s not too late?

(7 Posts)
BestDaysAheadOfMe Wed 01-Jul-20 00:43:22

Evening fellow mnetters going through divorce.
12 year relationship, 4.5 in marriage. 2 kids, 10 and 5. Issues with DH right from the start- porn addiction, disengagement, lots of fighting and pain. I have reached the point over the years where none of that emotionally affects me anymore and i asked for divorce. Quite contrary to a lot of what i read on here i don’t feel sad, i’ve been through years of sadness and i am now feeling elated like i’ve grown wings. I’m planning on house redecoration etc and feel like i have another chance at life. I’m 39 and hope there’s better things waiting for me in the future. But then i feel quite old at times and worn out by daily routine. Is finding happyness realistic at my age?.. i don’t know. I hope it is. It feels like the time is right, now or never but i still have doubts at times. I spend my evenings alone in front of tv and we’ve been sleeping in different beds for the past 6 years. Surely being alone will be more authentic than pretending we are a happy couple?..

I hope my kids- who don’t know about the decision to divorce just yet - will forgive me and see the good side of it at some point. I hope i’m setting a good example for my 5 y/o daughter. And i hope my son will grow up knowing he doesnt have to put up with unsatisfactory relationships in his life.

I hope i will one day be happy and loved. I hope it’s not too late to find a decent loving human being out there despite the pool of decent loving free human beings (men) decreasing as age increases.

I hope it’s possible.

OP’s posts: |
Monty27 Wed 01-Jul-20 01:26:06

Of course its not too late OP. Take time to get to know yourself in your new situation first and enjoy the DC's and help them to settle into their new situation too. All going well you will find happiness in yourself and grow as an independent person.
Perhaps in time you will come across a great guy too smile

DDIJ Wed 01-Jul-20 01:33:55

Good luck OP flowers

Luzina Wed 01-Jul-20 01:45:39

Of course its not too late. You are being a good role model for both your son and your daughter by ending an unhappy marriage.

I met my now DH aged 39, we got married last year. Loads of people find new partners at your age and beyond

Raver84 Wed 01-Jul-20 07:46:36

Good morning. Just wanted to say I am having similar thought. My husband keeps running up debts and has done through our 15 year relationship, married 13. The last straw was 2 months ago I found out about another 8k after I told him 18 months ago if he did this again we'd be finished.

I do have really bad days but not because of him but because the life I was planning for has gone and that is destabilising. I also feel overwhelmed at the road ahead of the divorce, lawyers, house sale, money issues etc.guilt at being the one to end it even though there isn't more I could have done. I've been taking in one day at a time and part of me is starting to look forward to the future rather than grief over what was.

The worst part is still being in the hosue we havnt spoken for 2 months and I need to move things on.

I think you will find happiness with someone else, it can and does happen but for now focus on you and things you enjoy. But yes you will be happier in the end. Good luck.

Lonecatwithkitten Wed 01-Jul-20 07:59:38

Men also become single - sometimes through no fault of their own. Split from my Ex aged 39, meet my DP aged 44 he is a widower. He is a kind, loving man, who rarely drinks ( even less than me) and thinks the world of my daughter.

hustler2020 Wed 01-Jul-20 12:12:57

it isnt too late age is a number its about mentality

what i will say ( having seperated) is dont rush to get in to another relationship take time to fix yourself first then love will come your way 💐

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