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Ex contesting reason for divorce.

(11 Posts)
CP30e0 Sun 28-Jun-20 15:32:43

DV ex is stating breakdown of marriage as grounds for divorce, when in fact it was unreasonable behaviour.

He has also fabricated and embellished all of the information he has put in email detailing why our marriage broke down. It was down to him being a nasty bastard.

Anyone dealt with similar? I would be ever so grateful for any advice. Thank you.

OP’s posts: |
SeasonFinale Sun 28-Jun-20 15:35:29

There is only one ground for divorce in England and Wales - irretrievable breakdown of the marriage.

However the ground has to be substantiated by one of 5 reasons (a t present) and one of those reasons is unreasonable behaviour. I think you have misunderstood the jargon side of things.

SeasonFinale Sun 28-Jun-20 15:37:25

As regards his email do you have a solicitor acting. Often it can be quite emotive seeing the reasons set out on paper. The solicitor can usually negotiate the wording so it is in acceptable format to the respondent but still sufficient for a judge to say the reasons evidence the irretrievable breakdown.

I assume a petition has not yet been issue. You could of course petition for divorce yourself.

TooTrueToBeGood Sun 28-Jun-20 15:38:36

Check with your solicitor but my understanding is that the grounds for divorce don't have any material bearing on anything. Whilst it might grate to let him get his way one final time, it might be in your best interests to let it go in order to get the divorce finalised.

cookiemonster5 Sun 28-Jun-20 15:50:12

The only people who will see the divorce paperwork are you 2, the solicitors and court officials.

I wanted my divorce to state abuse and adultery. It states 2 years separation as the reason for divorce.

It upset me really badly in the beginning but then I realised the most important thing was being divorced so I just went with it. At the end of the day as long as the divorce is granted it doesn't matter in the grand scheme of things.

CP30e0 Sun 28-Jun-20 16:12:57

@cookiemonster5 it was me who said I wanted to get the ball rolling, so he sent me a detailed official looking email in his own words with a load of fabricated nonsense about everything I'd supposed done wrong in our marriage, while not taking any accountability for his behaviour.

But as PP says, I just want to get it over with.

OP’s posts: |
Otter71 Wed 01-Jul-20 01:35:32

Many people have divorce petitions which state unreasonable behaviour which is a total work of fiction. Mine certainly was but it did the job and now that's all that matters. Water under the bridge and aim for that final goal of freedom.

knittingaddict Sun 05-Jul-20 12:03:24

I know someone who left her husband due to his domestic abuse, spent a few months in a refuge, the police investigated when she reported it and it went as far as going to the CPS and they've been in family court for over 18 months. The abuse was real as we've seen the evidence and saw some of the behaviour for ourselves.

He divorced her for unreasonable behaviour and the reasons were bizarre to say the least. She didn't contest the reasons because it makes no difference to anything. No one will see it, both parties know it's a load of old rubbish and it won't effect the financial settlement. Ultimately she just wanted to divorce as quickly as possible and that was the solicitors advice.

My advice would be to just let it go and get that divorce.

PicaK Sun 05-Jul-20 20:49:09

Your nasty bastard comment seems to be on the money here.
He's just sent you an email telling you what he wants to put.
You can spend money challenging this in a legal way. Or for £550 jump the gun on him and fill the form in online yourself. He can then pay to challenge it....
But really you just want to divorce him. Unless he's saying anything that may impact on the settlement (accusing you of abuse - emotional, financial etc - or neglect etc) then as people say you may just want to let it slide.
Be sure to tick the right box when you respond on whether you are willing to pay court costs or not.

PicaK Sun 05-Jul-20 20:53:44

flowers though cos it's damn irritating. Keep your eye on the end goal of what you want. Vent to friends (who have got your back) emotional thoughts. Or us. It's cathartic.

puzzledpiece Tue 07-Jul-20 18:51:58

The judge has seen it all. Don't get down to your Hs level. Try to keep it simple and not go into a lot of abusive issues.

Instead of saying my H regularly screams abuse at me for hours on end and calls me horrible names (that will only antagonise him and he will try to stall the divorce and waste your money) say my H has problems managing his temper which upsets me and makes me fearful. He has also refused to have any anger management counselling.

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