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Embarrassed about ex and marriage?

(14 Posts)
Meeeh Wed 17-Jun-20 08:05:52

My ex has turned into an absolute nut case since we split up (although tbf maybe the signs were there that is was brewing all along).

Does anyone else feel massive embarrassment that you were married to your ex and that you feel you have to explain that this was not the person they knew?

I seriously look at him and think I’m a loser for having given him the time of day 🙄

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Rebelwithallthecause Wed 17-Jun-20 08:07:44

I look at my ex and am reminded of why he’s my ex and also question what I ever saw in him

It’s a big relief he’s an ex

Don’t feel embarrassed

Rebelwithallthecause Wed 17-Jun-20 08:07:55

We’ve all had to kiss some frogs

TheFormidableMrsC Wed 17-Jun-20 08:09:40

Goodness yes, all the time. I think the worse thing for me is the comments made by my friends and family after he left for OW. Everybody kept their thoughts to themselves for my sake but I wish they hadn’t. I was completely blind to what a hideous person he was, how badly he treated me and our DS and I am an educated and intelligent woman! I had a lot of therapy. That helped!

NoHardSell Wed 17-Jun-20 08:09:54

grin I kind of get what you mean. They do the whole midlife crisis thing, make themselves look like dicks, and it's embarrassing to be associated with them. Happily you aren't very associated with him any more, so just shrug it off.

Ullupullu Wed 17-Jun-20 08:10:02

Your feelings of embarrassment must come from worrying about what others think, but I don't think anyone else would judge you - they'd understand why he was your ex! People understand that relationships change.

Munchkin08 Wed 17-Jun-20 19:24:45

People change! Although, I understand completely where you are coming from, it still embarrasses me even though there was absolutely nothing I could have done to change things.

BobbinThreadbare123 Wed 17-Jun-20 19:28:02

Nahh don't be embarrassed. You won't be the only person who thinks your ex is a fuckwit, I assure you. The others will be glad for you, for escaping him.

HowFastIsTooFast Wed 17-Jun-20 19:55:29

Yep! Even seeing a picture of my ex-husband makes me cringe, and if I think back to the way he used to speak to me or deliberately embarrass me I could just cringe myself inside out.

You're not alone, but onwards and upwards now. One distant day, we'll see the funny side.

Tiny2018 Wed 17-Jun-20 20:06:43

Absolutely.
Where were my standards type stuff.
Clearly I had very low expectations.

Otter71 Thu 18-Jun-20 11:47:34

He probably thinks he is doing fine and you are the crazy one. That's the way with my ex anyhow, despite the comedy factor I get with friends out of some of the shit he did. Just be happy he isn't doing his craziness to you now.

Meeeh Thu 18-Jun-20 12:46:27

@otter71 yeah he thinks he’s pretty amazing right now 😂

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honeysuckleblossom Sun 21-Jun-20 08:32:04

Oh god yes - find myself thinking I'm an intelligent, well-educated woman. WTF was I thinking? Love is blind I guess as he isn't even anywhere near as good looking as he thinks he is

It's the way he's re-written the whole narrative in his head to convince himself he was the injured party - heaven forbid he be considered the knob he is.

Meeeh Sun 21-Jun-20 09:20:03

@honeysuckleblossom - same here 😂 it’s a miracle he survived that long with me really, poor man

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