We are breaking up and I need your advice.

[lizziebrown7]

Hello,

Just need some sound advice from other mothers who are or have been through something similar.

I won't go into full detail but my partner and I are sadly separating. We have a wonderful, happy, 3 year old. It’s been a long time coming, we both aren’t happy. Done therapy, the lot. I feel numb, frustrated and just so upset that we couldn't pull ourselves together and get this working especially for our son. However a happy me is a happier mummy. I'm only 32 and have so much love to give the right person.

I need some words or wisdom and hope when it comes to co parenting, how did you tell your child (especially toddler), have you been successful at co-parenting, how? What have you learnt to do and not to do? How many days do you each have the children? How are you doing with parenting on the days you have alone?

I've just settled him into a new preschool (literally this last week) and just so conscious of not unsettling his routine, his life is about to be turned upside down and my heart is breaking for him.

Love to hear from you x

[2ndtimemum2]

Hi lizzie

It's over 14 years since I separated from my sons dad he was 2 and a half at the time. And I'm not going to lie to you and tell you it was easy! It wasnt and yes your little one will feel it but if you 2 are on good terms it makes it a hell of alot easier. Communication is key and spending lots of time with both parents. Thos is the big one do not let him.see any bitterness between yee it's important to put the adults feelings aside.

One thing I did was I went to a counsellor to get advice on it because at the time i just didnt feel i had the knowledge or the know how and that helped.

14 years on and my son is amazing happy doing well at school and has had no long term impact from.our break up. You will come out the other side

[Loracina]

I'm going through the same thing - my little one is 5 and I'm so scared of telling him as I know he will be devastated. It breaks my heart just thinking about it.

I'm trying to remind myself that this is the right thing to do and I can't stay in this marriage. Hoping that things do eventually get better and my boy will be ok through this mess.

Sorry I can't share much, as still waiting for paperwork to go through and looking for house, plus my husband is being really difficult about childcare arrangements and I'm still trying to work it all out.

Would love to hear other people's experiences too and some words of reassurance to keep me strong through this time 😕

Thank you x