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STBX delaying court process

(8 Posts)
atr79gb Sun 07-Jun-20 14:50:24

I'm in the process of divorcing my wife.

We've been separated for 2 years and during that time she has shown no interest in agreeing any future arrangements regarding custody or finances - she has just buried her head in the sand. I suspect the reluctance on her part is due to the fact that during the marriage she was financially dependent on me. She refuses to work and we have recently disentangled ourselves financially.

I've arranged mediation and made offers related to both custody and finances. She is only interested in progressing things if the offer is completely in her favour (75% of equity and she decides when I see the children). She refuses to seek legal advice as she says she can't afford it so she has no idea if her demands and expectations are reasonable.

I believe now the only way to progress things is through the family court.

What potential is there for her to delay things at the court stage? For example, I would expect her to fail to return the Form E.

Does the family court have something in place to prevent people endlessly delaying things?

OP’s posts: |
MissMaple82 Mon 08-Jun-20 08:50:31

No. They do it all the time

IndigoInk Mon 08-Jun-20 09:51:26

Unfortunately, failure to return the form E happens all the time and they are just given more time.

Taking matters to court may seem the obvious way to get things sort out asap (and sometimes the only way) but, in my experience, it draws out the process longer (and ups the costs).

What happened in mediation?

JaggySplinter Mon 08-Jun-20 12:58:44

I'm interested in hearing any tips for getting things moving too. My exH is delaying at every possible stage, and of really rather avoid court and the costs if I can.

Lightuptheroom Mon 08-Jun-20 13:09:29

Unfortunately family court won't necessarily speed up the process, if you are a long way apart then it still takes time and will cost.
How long have you been in mediation for and what does the mediator say?

PicaK Mon 08-Jun-20 15:59:55

Well how about
A) You offer to pay costs of divorce as you initiated it
B) 75% of equity sounds reasonable tbh if she has been sahm. Replace 'financially dependent' with "providing unpaid childcare, housework, mental load of running the home and massively disadvantaging herself in the workplace and pension".
C) Run a simulation on income expenses to show how you would both get an equal start in similar price houses and enough spending money to allow for holidays.
D) Telling you when you can see your own kids isn't fair. You can suggest days. Though I worry you mean she won't just make them available when you ask - and that's no way to live.

atr79gb Mon 08-Jun-20 17:24:00

@PicaK thanks. Would you mind if I PM you?

My wife actually initiated the separation but wanted to continue living together without changing anything. I filed for divorce as I didn't wish to live together if we were no longer a couple and wanted to get some normality back to my life. Since then, negotiations have stalled. It is a complete mess.

I understand your other points though.

OP’s posts: |
PicaK Mon 08-Jun-20 21:20:45

Separate but still live together long term - that's nuts of her. And I don't think the tax office would believe it after a certain amount of time.
Sorry I'm really defensive on the sahm thing. Apologies for being too sharp.

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