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Please help me think this through

(6 Posts)
Vickyglitz Fri 05-Jun-20 09:15:51

I want to split from my abusive husband.

His behaviours include:

Pushing and shoving
Wiping toilet with my clothes
Saying mummy is a bitch to our 2 yr old
Threatening to confiscate passports so I can't go back to visit my parents in my home country
Threatening to fire our nanny so i have to quit my job and watch our baby
Swearing at me so much our baby has started saying fuck off (ok she said it once).

I don't really have any financial issues but I don't want to move out because that's not a good look. But if we stay under the same roof he will fire our nanny to be obstructive and that will mean my job will be in trouble. He will also get difficult. What can I do? I get he has as much right to be there in the home which we own jointly. The police were previously investigating him to coercive control but I told them to pause because of coronavirus and lockdown and it being difficult to manage the consequences of divorce in these circumstances.

Also, how would custody be split in this situation? He would want 50/50 but I'm minded to want 100. Because he's a bastard although he loves our daughter and isn't violent with her. Is that possible to achieve?

OP’s posts: |
sleepismysuperpower1 Fri 05-Jun-20 11:01:18

I'm so sorry. Could you get into contact with womens aid? They can help you sort through things, and point you in the direction of free legal advice, support you etc. All the best flowers

BestDaysAheadOfMe Sat 06-Jun-20 00:11:56

Get your passports and any other important documents out of the house- to a friend of perhaps a self store facility.
The guy sounds like a nightmare. You dont have to move out unless you feel in danger but you need to get out. Who cares if it’s not a good look- i came to realise noone really cares, people will raise an eyebrow and then return to their daily activities, you need to think about yourself and ds first not others.
How long have you been together?

Vickyglitz Sat 06-Jun-20 18:05:15

@bestdaysaheadofme I mean not a good look legally. I don't want the judge to think I have it all together financially so I can rent. I earn more too.

Been together 10 years married for 5. He can't really take the passport. That's unlawful imprisonment. I will call the police.

OP’s posts: |
ValleysGirl72 Sun 07-Jun-20 23:33:16

It really isn't any business of the judges of why you want a divorce. Please get your passport and any other documents you need and put them somewhere safe. Could you keep them at work or give them to a friend for safe keeping?

ValleysGirl72 Mon 14-Sep-20 22:38:12

@Vickyglitz, just wondering how things have been for you and your daughter? xxx

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