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Husband leaving(4 Posts)
I'm new to here but really need some help/advice and support. My husband of 13 years (together for 17) has been having an affair with someone at work for 3 months but in a different location (200 miles away). I found out 6 weeks ago.
I am absolutely heart broken and completely shocked. We had what seemed the perfect marriage. Nice house, good kids, good jobs, he was the football coach for our son's team and I never ever expected him to do anything like this.
Initially I kicked him out and he went to stay with him mum but she lives some distance from us and he was missing our boys so I said he could come back if he cut contact with the other woman. That lasted just over a week before she got in contact again. He seems to be flitting between wanting to go and then wanting to stay, although at the moment he wants to leave and is looking for somewhere else to live. But he is saying there is nothing available to move to but I know that is rubbish because I've looked on Rightmove and there are loads of places.
I really don't want our family and lives to ripped apart but he just doesn't seem to care and he is living in some sort of dream world that it isn't going to affect the kids and that he can just go of with this other woman and everything will be fine. I've said my boys can't meet her for 6 months but even then I don't know how I am going to cope with them spending time with her.
Any tips on coping mechanisms, or help from people that have been through similar would really help x
He in the honeymoon phase with OW unfortunately. I'd let him go with as little fuss and as much dignity as you can muster. Don't try and keep someone who doesn't want to be with you. It's not an easy road ahead but better than the alternative. I'm sorry you're in this position, it's awful, really horrible. I remember waking up every day feeling full of anxiety.
How old are your children?
I tried to forgive my ex for an affair with a work colleague but she refused to cut ties despite trying and me begging her for two years.
Get him out of the house as soon possible.
My boys are 11, 9 and 7. The older 2 understand and are sad to see me upset but the younger one is almost excited at the prospect of there being 2 houses etc.
I just wish he would go if that Is really what he wants. I said he is being cruel staying and his answer was he owns half the house and pays half the bills!
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