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Splitting up

(11 Posts)
Novemberrain77 Thu 07-May-20 08:33:22

As previous posts I feel we are finally splitting up. My husband can't move out until lockdown over. I said to try marriage guidance because I wanted to see what a third party thought of my husband having 80grand in bank and not telling me and saying horrible things to me when I caught on and refused to tell me. I guess I'm upset that he called me fucking nosey, a schemer and that I was ruining the marriage. Told me had secrets that were not my concern. It's been bad on and off for years but this was final straw. I am worried as have 5 children. I said about marriage guidance again. We haven't been since lockdown but he offers web sessions. My husband said no point as I told him I feel different about him after what's happened. He keeps saying he has worked hard all his life and will now lose it all. I can't help feel guilty but he has spoken to me like shit for years but never takes blame or says sorry. So hard

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Otter71 Thu 07-May-20 10:58:40

All I can say is if he is just worried about the impact to him, try to ignore it. He messed up and you have tried to give him chance to resolve. But make sure everyone knows the truth before he twists it. I apparently stole my son's entitlement when I got a divorce settlement. He hates me as a result...

Novemberrain77 Thu 07-May-20 11:37:44

Yeah that's why hard. He is guilt tripping me.

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maccax Thu 07-May-20 16:44:33

Otter...your husband or your son?

Novemberrain77 Thu 07-May-20 17:19:30

My husband. Not sure what you mean re my son. My son not his son

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Troubledmummy3 Thu 07-May-20 17:22:55

Honestly he will never change...sounds just like my father! Growing up in that kind household was toxic. I really feel he is guilt tripping you and nobody has any right to speak to you badly in your own home! It's emotional abuse and coercive control...x

maccax Thu 07-May-20 17:37:13

Sorry...Q for Otter71.

Novemberrain77 Thu 07-May-20 18:31:31

I know. I am sorry you grew up like that. I can't let my kids have this any longer x

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Hannah021 Thu 07-May-20 18:41:35

is he worried when you both split, you'll take a big chunk of his money? I wouldn't give a donkey about someone like that... you just need to work out how he's going to do his share of child care

Sleepingboy Thu 07-May-20 18:47:18

And you haven't worked hard looking after 5 kids? The money is half yours. Dont forget it.

Novemberrain77 Thu 07-May-20 19:26:20

I know . He always says how he pays for mortgage and bills. I do some work from home. I was offered a job from my old boss to clear checks for nhs volunteers and he said how can I keep on top of house while working. I said we can pull together and he didn't like it . My previous post explain alot. I have tried but I am still in shock te the large amount of money I had no idea about x

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