I'm still in shock

[sillycat72]

I'm just still in shock, I moved out before lockdown and glad I did nothing worse than living in that house with an emotionally abusive man and his daughters. I guess I've had time to reflect and I just can't believe it's happened. I honestly thought it was forever. I've written a few threads on how he and his daughters treated me but even though I'm happier now just living with my teenage children this lockdown has allowed me to heal and look into what I want from life but I still find myself thinking about how I was treated and sit in tears and then I'm ok again for a few days.
I don't ever want to go back and got to move forward after this lockdown but I don't know what to do about the divorce. Leave it for a 2 year seperation or go for unreasonable behaviour? I feel I don't want to go through it again as it's so hurtful?! What does anyone think? Do I wait for him to divorce me or do I divorce him I just don't know anything

[Zalen]

I can't offer any real advice, but one thing to maybe think about, the 2-year separation option is for separation with the consent of both parties. If he is emotionally abusive, would he actually consent or would that simply be another thing to hold over you? Without consent, it would have to be a 5-year separation.

You might be better going for unreasonable behaviour. You're already out and living separately from him, so backlash from an unreasonable behaviour choice will hopefully be minimised. I haven't seen your other posts, but it sounds like you have plenty of grounds to choose from.

[sillycat72]

Thank you for that, I need to start thinking about what to do and look into cost etc.

[Chumpnomore]

I wouldn't rush to make a decision. It's such a difficult time and even more so now with the new crisis.
It is such a stressful time and you need to be as strong as possible. Allowing yourself a bit of time before you embark on a divorce is definitely better for your own sanity.
I'd recommend getting as much information together as possible before you do anything 'official'
Good luck 🤞

[sillycat72]

No I honestly don't think I could just yet, it still hurts to even think about it. When I think of the things said and done I still fill up, ridiculous really but I guess one day it won't hurt quite so much