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How to leave husband financially help, where to live?

(14 Posts)
Jayne921 Sun 03-May-20 11:33:39

Together 16vyrs we have a 6 and 4 yr old. Trying so hard to make it a success as desperately important for me to keep family together. But can't take it anymore. I have no income he works. Mortgage in his name only there is a lot of equity in house roughly 200k. I would like to be given half and start anew. I don't think he'd ever agree and will be unreasonable and impossible to live with. I have no where to go and no savings.
Please advice what help financially can I get could I rent somewhere would government help until I found a job. I am currently looking for work. He never wanted me to.
If he gave me half equity and sold house 100k would not be enough for me to buy somewhere without moryagagr and I cant get mortgage til worked 6 months I think? If I had 100k in bank I'm assuming I'd get no benefits and would have to live off that?
So anxious and don't know what to do. So hard and stressful to work out . Thanks for reading

OP’s posts: |
MissSmiley Sun 03-May-20 12:02:15

Stay in your current house while you divorce, ask him to move out, you apply for UC once you separate, I think you can even do this if he's still under the same roof, it takes about 5 weeks to get your first payment
Go online to entitled to website and get an idea of how much you'd get

MissSmiley Sun 03-May-20 12:03:33

And 50/50 in terms of the equity is only a starting point, you may get more, talk to a solicitor

OhioOhioOhio Sun 03-May-20 12:09:27

You need a solicitor. Have you got anyone who can support you?

Stillfunny Sun 03-May-20 12:09:59

He doesn't get a choice of what he agrees to . A good solicitor would advise you . It might not even be necessary to leave the home .

Otter71 Sun 03-May-20 12:15:29

Are you married OP?
And are you in England or where?Unfortunately that can make a big difference to entitlement

millymollymoomoo Sun 03-May-20 12:23:02

He doesn’t have to move out. You can ask but can’t force
Have you spoken to him, does he know you feel like this ?

millymollymoomoo Sun 03-May-20 12:23:41

And yes, crucially are you married ?

Jayne921 Sun 03-May-20 13:58:18

Thanks so much . Feel so lonely. We have had problems at least 6byrs tried so hard. We are married in England . I have emotional support from my mum but am unable to move in with her. Neither of us have anyone we can move in with so will have to stay living in same house until sorted. I don't know if I can bear living with him,he will be so unreasonable and confrontational.
Yes I need legal advice can I pay for it once divorce is finalised? I have money in my account. Only child benefit. We don't have a joint account
. Thanks for replying I've never felt strong enough to go through with it. Even now not sure I can. I so wanted to stay together for kids. He is a good dad and loves them although is not hands on. I do everything in house and all care for kids.
I would be happy with half of equity . I'm scared he'll get nasty and I will have to live with him whilst ongoing.

OP’s posts: |
Jayne921 Sun 03-May-20 13:59:45

Meant to type no money in my account.
Thanks for reading x

OP’s posts: |
millymollymoomoo Sun 03-May-20 14:06:14

Ah I see your title says you are married
You need to seek legal advice. Some offer a free 30 minute call. Do you know your husbands earnings and whether there is a pension. Get these than make the call. Then you can start to make informed decisions

PicaK Mon 04-May-20 10:01:08

You need to separate officially which just means your money is separate, you don't cook for him or wash his clothes or sleep in same bed.
Apply for universal credit. You'll get about 1k a month. You won't get help with mortgage payments but you would get some money towards rent. UC takes 5 weeks to be assessed etc but they can grant you a loan so you have money at the start but it has to be repaid.
You haven't worked for a while so you'd get 50% of the house at least - if not more. And a part of his pension.
Read up about divorce. Wikivorce is a good place to start. Some of the solicitors have really good Web pages explaining how it all works.
You need £550 to file for divorce by requesting the decree nisi. You don't need a solicitor to do that. You have to put down reasons - the Gov website also very good for explaining what these are.
If he contests it, it will cost him money in solicitors fees. It will cost you if you get them involved to defend etc.
It's the 2nd bit where you start to agree a split in assets, support and contact before you submit for the decree absolute.

SallyR12345 Mon 04-May-20 13:03:56

It sounds like you're assuming you would have to rely on his generosity or better nature. Not the case. As already stated you have an entitlement to a good chunk of the equity in the house and his pension. The question is how much? Be careful, solicitors will let you pay out of your settlement but don't let the costs run away. Personal experience!

copycopypaste Mon 04-May-20 13:09:25

Firstly, always seek proper financial advice from a qualified solicitor.

But, as you're married and in England then it doesn't matter who's name is on the mortgage, you are entitled to a % of all marital assets. This includes, cars, savings, pensions etc. Regardless of who's name it's in. 50/50 is the starting point.

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