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Does it ever get better

(3 Posts)
chloeb2002 Mon 27-Apr-20 05:05:34

7 hours away.. he's just a nightmare..
today he rang to cancel the kids psych appointments that I made to help him with his lack of insight.. he has stated in an affidavit that I have blocked all access to the psychologist... which is it??

OP’s posts: |
OhioOhioOhio Sun 26-Apr-20 22:01:35

Similar here. Mr Impossible. Just get away from him as fast as possible.

chloeb2002 Sun 26-Apr-20 21:20:27

That's it really..
he left in August after I found out about his affair. 3 months of reconciliation failed because he was still having the affair.. he lied to all of us saying he was moving home. He was living 7 hours away.. we are no longer in the Uk.
4 months on he has moved in with new girlfriend who is of course 17 years younger than him and 5 children.. joint bank accounts the works. he was a very distant father to our children. Never did after school stuff. Never did school stuff etc.. didn't cook clean make food. 2 of the now absolutely refuse to see him (17 and 12) the younger two (9. And 7) he is now dragging through the courts. He is trying to drag the 12 year old too. Good luck with that.
The younger two will only spend time with him if they can see some gain... presents.. a lunch out.. they don't want much time.. they have little to say to him.
This weekend they refused to go with him. He made no effort to take them. A 30 second interaction. Yet it will all be my fault. I'm so scared of him and his threats that I have a friend to do handover. He has lied in his affidavit that I've threatened him with avo's.
As he has just done in his new relationship straight off he controls with money. I was very scared for a long time he would leave and had no idea how to cope as he just builds a bigger and bigger world. Then repeatedly tells you it's because of his wage and we can't afford xyz. I'm very glad I can get out if it now. I have a good job. We will survive.. mortgage and all.
He is demanding they spend a week with him 3 weeks 7 hours away. I have to drop off half way. To stay in a tiny study together.. he states his boss will give his 16 weeks of paid leave a year to look after his children !! To do there distance schooling even.
We have no financial settlement he won't even give all his bank statements.
He has rented a small house for a huge sum of money more than our mortgage!
He wants everything in settlement. Including cash from me. We have minimal equity in the house. Nothing else.
My legal bills... omg. My mother is helping with those. They are huge!!
I just want to know at some point this gets better.
Next stop court reporter. I'm terrified they will not see through his lies and rubbish. The kids will tell it as it is. I'm just scared. I think I'm scared and anxious 90% of the time. Is there ever light??
I don't feel my requests are unreasonable.. be a father.. be a father here.. do stuff with them here where they live. Like scouts, dance, athletics, soccer.. stuff he has never done. Don't just bundle them up to his new partner to look after. Leave them up here where they can stuff share Christmas with their siblings who refuse to see their dad. Split Christmas. Make it fair. His choice to live 7 hours away.. make the effort and come to them. Build a relationship.
Ok ... sorry for the rant. But is their any light??

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