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Ex not rushed about getting off the mortgage

(8 Posts)
Floatonby Tue 21-Apr-20 03:43:56

Separated well over 18 months and I'm paying the mortgage solely and the 5 year fixed rate is due to run out in two months. I'm dreading going on the SVR and ex isn't and hasn't contributed anything to the mortgage. He is really dragging his heels to make this as miserable for me as possible. Haven't started court proceedings as in mediation where he only wants to ask banal questions to hold everything up. I can afford to buy him out and have offered this but just no response. What can I do?

OP’s posts: |
Otter71 Tue 21-Apr-20 07:07:18

Have you got the nisi yet? Or is he holding that up too?
What does the mediator say? If one party is not engaging they can sign paperwork to say mediation failed but obviously then it goes to court at far higher cost.

Floatonby Tue 21-Apr-20 08:01:43

Got the Nisi, he applied for that and and we are well past the date the absolute can be applied for. Mediators happy to just let it drag on so they get paid....

OP’s posts: |
NorthernSpirit Tue 21-Apr-20 16:18:50

You need to apply for the financial consent order ASAP (and need to take legal advice).

If he is still named in the mortgage you need his consent to remortgage into a new deal.

The sooner you get the finances sorted the better. It can take 12 months to sort, so you need to get moving. Don’t wait for him.

Floatonby Tue 21-Apr-20 16:51:50

@NorthernSpirit the cost though sad I was really hoping we could sort it in mediation. I hate this.

OP’s posts: |
MrsMoastyToasty Tue 21-Apr-20 16:54:14

If you can't afford the mortgage when it reverts to SVR it'll affect his credit rating too if he's still on the mortgage.... just saying....

NorthernSpirit Tue 21-Apr-20 17:34:38

I know..... my now OH’s EW dragged her heals in mediation (so he tells me). They had the Nisi but 5 years later she still wouldn’t agree a settlement (so no absolute).

He represented himself (although did get a barrister and solicitor for the last court hear (it went to 3rd & final hearing).

Good luck.

ajs88 Mon 27-Apr-20 15:05:44

Sounds exactly like my situation and ex. I was paying the full mortgage (as I had always done) and needed to get him to agree to a sum to get his name off it. I was also paying full mediation costs as I knew he wouldn't and wanted to get it sorted. But this meant that there was no incentive for him to participate meaningfully, he wouldn't even say what he wanted, and just asked stupid delaying questions.

I realized the trap I had laid for myself and applied the screws.

In our next mediation session I started it by making it absolutely clear that this was the last session I was paying for, if he required anymore to come up with what he would agree to he would have to pay for them, if he failed agree or come up with a sum he agreed to then we would be going to court (based on his non-participation), how much it would cost him and how little he could end up with (based on the highest and lowest figures respectively that my solicitor gave to me).

I then repeated my offer, made it clear that it was the maximum I was offering, and asked him if he would agree. He continued to go on about he didn't know and asked if he could think on it and give his answer later. The mediator made it clear that only a yes/no answer could be given by email, anything else would require another session, and set a deadline of a week. A week past and he still wouldn't give an answer, the mediator said that she would start to prepare the document saying that he wasn't participating so I could take him to court.

Then low and behold he agreed!

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