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Reasons for divorce- please can I get feedback?

(5 Posts)
Byebyeheart Tue 31-Mar-20 14:05:59

Hi all, I am filing for divorce and have got to the stage where I need to state my grounds.

I want to avoid annoying my STBX and triggering him to get defensive and contest it. Do these grounds sound good enough to be accepted by the court? Do I need more specific examples? Any feedback?

NB I won't necessarily use all these and there are more reasons but putting them would likely piss him off and get him on the defensive. Thanks in advance.


1. The Respondent participated in inappropriate communications with another woman, which the Petitioner discovered July 2018, but had been ongoing since December 2017. The Respondent wase deceptive towards the Respondent in that he was deleting text messages and photos exchanged between them and had agreed pre-arranged times to communicate when respective spouses were not present. The Petitioner tried to overcome and forgive this for their child's sake but further lies discovered subsequently has made recovery impossible. This left the Petitioner feeling betrayed, humiliated and unloved.

2. The Petitioner and Respondent do not share any common interests and have not socialised with each other in the latter part of the marriage, only communicating with each other regarding practical things like childcare and chores. This left the Petitioner feel isolated and lonely.

3. The Respondent works full time night shifts. This has resulted in the Petitioner and Respondent barely spending any quality time together and has impacted on their emotional and physical relationship. This left the petitioner feeling lonely, frustrated, depressed and unloved. The Petitioner has communicated these feelings to the Respondent several times since 2016, as recently as January 2020.

4. The Respondent has refused to socialise with the Petitioner's family and friends, despite several invitations to do so. Most recently being on the Petitioner's birthday (xxxxxxx 2020) at which the Respondent refused to attend their birthday meal because the Petitioner's family was present. This left the Petitioner feeling guilty to spend time with family, torn and depressed.

OP’s posts: |
StrawberryJam200 Tue 31-Mar-20 14:08:55

Sounds ok to me, I got divorced a few years ago now, think I remember my solicitor saying that you can cite anything, but you probably want it to sound just what it’s titled, ie reasonable grounds.

waterSpider Tue 31-Mar-20 21:05:46

I'd probably put (1) lower down the list, to make the earlier ones sound more mutual.
Could add things, like "Never say we love each other"; "Want to have holidays separately from each other (or have done)". Maybe "No intimate or sex life" ??

MelissaHensonn Wed 01-Apr-20 18:30:02

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Upordown Wed 01-Apr-20 18:49:49

Try to be factual and explain how it made you feel. Avoid blame if you don't want to trigger him. Could you ask him what he'd be comfortable with ad you just want to get this done as easily as possible?
For example 'Respondent doesn't enjoy socialising with petitioner's family, leaving petitioner torn and distressed at attending family celebrations alone". Most recent being petitioners birthday.
Since 2018, there is no longer affection or intimacy between the petitioner and respondent, leaving petitioner feeling lonely and upset.

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