This is a Premium feature
To use this feature subscribe to Mumsnet Premium - get first access to new features see fewer ads, and support Mumsnet.Start using Mumsnet Premium
No job, marriage broken down, now Corona lockdown on way!(4 Posts)
I’m not sure how to plan. My marriage, struggling for a while, has pretty much broken down (thread on what happened here: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3841133-Feeling-DH-is-domineering-Cant-face-it )
Our DC are age 5 & 2. I haven’t worked for 5 years after staying at home with kids, and retraining in new career. Close to accreditation in that career but can’t apply for jobs until I get that. Most jobs in the field are part time and fairly low paid. Now we are about to be locked down (probably) and already at home together a lot more with working from home etc., which is really hard. And social distancing means I’m losing the things that kept me sane. I’m wondering about separating soon, but then living in our house together separated for a period, as we can’t afford separate rent until I’m working. That may sound awful but it might be better than trying to continue to live as a couple in same house when things have broken down: at least we could take turns with days with the kids and eat separately etc.
Anyway, I’m afraid to suggest it as obvs I’m currently in a very weak financial position. My question is that would I be in my rights to continue to live off DH’s salary until I get a job. We’d still be married, though separated?
We own our house outright. But no savings or other assets. Pandemic means it’s likely going to be longer before I can apply for jobs.
Got a phone appointment with solicitor in two weeks time. Wanting to know more about my position now, though! Feeling very anxious about everything and not sure how to find a way through it!
You need to have an open conversation with him. He could move out (but would probably stop contributing anything to you or you could move out but wouldn't be able to afford anywhere. Such a tricky situation.
I realise it will be really hard but if I were you I'd keep quiet for a few more weeks until any lockdown is over. Can you try and avoid him as much as possible but without formally separating? I lived with my exh for 14 months after we separated. It was hell! Half wish I'd have been more prepared and able to move out before I'd said anything as although miserable we were at least ticking along. Good luck with whatever you decide 💐
Thank you Fairycake, I think that’s wise.
Please login first.