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Interim maintenance question

(3 Posts)
atr79gb Tue 17-Mar-20 12:44:56

I'm after a bit of advice.

I've been separated for over 18 months and I'm the sole earner, supporting my 2 children and ex. My ex has been advised by her solicitor and mediator to support herself financially and find a job but she has refused to. So, I'm continuing to support her financially as I did when we were a couple. I pay for the mortgage, bills and food. I'm also sure this includes money she has spent on dates with her boyfriends.

It's been suggested to me by ex colleagues (with a background in divorce law) that I'm entitled to ask my solicitor to send her a letter asking her to confirm how much she will be contributing towards mortgage, bills etc. Otherwise, this would be considered in the financial matters.

Does anyone have any thoughts on this? It seems wrong that I'm continuing to support her financially even though we are not a couple. However, I want to ensure that any decision I make is legally correct. I'll check with my solicitor too.

OP’s posts: |
NorthernSpirit Tue 17-Mar-20 12:52:55

How old are the children? If school age she’s expected to work and support herself and contribute towards the children.

If she stays in the house, she pays the mortgage and bills.

You need to get tough on her. While you continue to find her she has no reason to get off her backside.

I would progress the consent order and she can explain to a judge why she can’t work.

My now OH’s EW was the same. Hadn’t worked for 10 years, kids were 7 & 10 and she refused to get a job (and why should she when everything was being paid for her)?

Wanted to stay in the FMH, he pay her mortgage in full, she get spousal maintenance of £10k a year.

She was told to get a job and start supporting herself. Spousal maintenance claim was thrown out and if she wanted to stay in the FMH she would have to pay for it.

Otter71 Tue 17-Mar-20 16:06:33

You are making it far too easy for her. Get the consent order together. Guve her a date after which you will pay no more other than CMS and make that soon. Then stand your ground. Yes she won't like it but what motivation does she have to get a job if you keep paying for her?

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