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Ex husbands post

(12 Posts)
TheBlackBunny Mon 09-Mar-20 20:55:28

My "D"H and I divorced last summer. Awfully hard divorce (aren't they all), following years of being in an emotionally and then physically abusive relationship. He was an alcoholic and had periods of what I can only describe as mania.

After our divorce I moved to a different part of the country and he moved to abroad (as you do!) to work on his business and travel.

I came away from the divorce with enough, financially, to start again. Not in great style but enough to get by. He on the other hand received the bulk of the "matrimonial pot", which in truth was fair as he came into our relationship owning his own house etc. Basically, that's not the point of this thread, I'm just setting the scene that he has a lot of cash and not the greatest ability to manage it.

We both had separate mail redirections put in place after we went our separate ways and today I've received some of his post to my new address, by mistake. It had a sticker over the window so I didn't know it was actually for him.

The post was from a spread betting company confirming registration of his account. Fair enough, he can do as he wants with his money but even on the letter it says over 70% of private individuals lose money spread betting. Our divorce settlement will be his life savings and he has no investments, a home or pension. What he has in his bank account will be everything he has.

I know it's non of my business now but I just care about him (even though I probably shouldn't) his well being and his future. I just know how reckless he can be.

I don't know why I'm writing this. Maybe because I need you lovely MumsNetters to reconfirm what I already know, that it's not my concern anymore, that I should just ignore it (Ex DH and I have had no contact since we divorced).

I was just going to send the envelope to his parents house and say it's for him (I obviously don't know his address abroad and I don't want to break NC for this)....or maybe I should just bin it?

Any perspectives welcome.

Thanks all x

OP’s posts: |
Tiddleypops Tue 10-Mar-20 05:58:42

I like your idea of sending it on to his parents. You've done the right thing, without actually involving yourself.
It isn't your concern, and it could well be the tip of the iceberg, he obviously has addiction issues. This might be his way to his rock bottom which may be his turning point to come back up again. Or maybe not. But either way, it's his path.

Ss770640 Wed 11-Mar-20 18:53:36

It is illegal to open mail not in your name

Funkycats Wed 11-Mar-20 18:56:12

Ss try reading the post properly 🙄

HirooOnoda Wed 11-Mar-20 19:28:03

@Funkycats nowhere did it say that the post was directed to the OP - clearly it wasn’t, hence why Ss suggested that it is illegal to open someone else’s post 🙄
I suspect OP was being a curious Cathy, understandably, however clearly in the wrong to open post not directed to themselves
OP - not your concern any more but i appreciate you are concerned. Apologising for opening said post and forwarding on to his parents seems a balanced and fair thing to do but I would leave it at that

TheBlackBunny Wed 11-Mar-20 19:32:52

Thanks for your replies everyone.

The post was redirected to my address, in error (I guess because we still have the same last name). The redirection sticker was over the address label showing his name. When it landed on my door I just opened the letter as I thought it was my redirected post from my old address. I'm fully aware it's illegal to open post not addressed to me but I did, in error (as I said in my Op).

I've forwarded it to his mum, and will check the labelling carefully on any future letters

OP’s posts: |
bakingdiva Wed 11-Mar-20 19:35:58

SS no it isn't. I'm getting sick of seeing people repeat this when it's utter bullshit.

It is illegal to open someone's post 'if intending to act in someone's detriment'. Which is not the case here (or in most of the posts on MN)

Postal Service Act 2000

Interfering with the mail: general.*
A person commits an offence if, without reasonable excuse, he—
intentionally delays or opens a postal packet in the course of its transmission by post, or
intentionally opens a mail-bag.
Subsections (2) to (5) of section 83 apply to subsection (1) above as they apply to subsection (1) of that section.
A person commits an offence if, intending to act to a person’s detriment and without reasonable excuse, he opens a postal packet which he knows or reasonably suspects has been incorrectly delivered to him.

TheBlackBunny Wed 11-Mar-20 19:46:02

@bakingdiva winklove this. Thank you. Glad to know I'm not a criminal lol

OP’s posts: |
Funkycats Wed 11-Mar-20 20:05:44

Hiroo it said there was a sticker over the name

fastliving Thu 12-Mar-20 10:59:29

This is so typical of how a thread gets completely de-railed by an idiot poster.

Back to the original question, I would just bin the letter. You can't send it to your ex- you don't now where he is. Sending it to his parents is just interfering, you shouldn't get involved - not your circus etc....

TheBlackBunny Thu 12-Mar-20 11:53:18

Love that saying "not my circus, not my monkey"'s a good one to remember x

OP’s posts: |
user765 Fri 20-Mar-20 20:25:12

Re the redirection by post office - this has happened to me. The label they stick on does NOT say the name, just the address. If they stick it over the window on a windowed envelope, it conceals the name a lot of the time. So what you get is a letter with a printed sticker on the front with address only. Genuine mistake.

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