Ive been apart from the ExH for 3 years now. He left on a pretence of unhappiness but the OW emerged pretty quickly as did his nasty attitude towards me.
I have increasingly noticed that his behaviour towards me follows a pattern. Things tick along OK for a while (I despise him and her, but I do my best with comms for the kids) and then something upsets his apple cart like a mix up around an arrangement or he wants me to do something and I say no (arrangements are hard as he wont talk to me - its all texts and he often wont reply) and his reaction is verbal abuse and threats. Yesterday I got a series of texts calling me an evil bitch and telling me to fuck off. Because he was expecting me to buy my son some new shoes for cadets and I didnt, given that I had just bought him a new soccer kit and boots and my daughter something significant for her sport. He also was really abusive about all the arrangements that need to be followed through this week - it is his first week in two and a half years of having the kids for a school week. I responded in a placatory fashion by explaining and reminding and I had a sudden flash that this was how it was for me in our marriage - him being abusive about something left field and me running around to make the peace and trying to placate him and manage his moods. I want to stop using this script - i think that it is damaging to me but I could do with some tips on how.
Please or to access all these features
Please
or
to access all these features
Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.
Divorce/separation
Changing the script
17 replies
nannytothequeen · 09/03/2020 08:45
OP posts:
Please create an account
To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.