About to become a single mum

[adviceplease321]

I have a 10 month old son, been with my partner 6 years and looks like I'm about to become a single mum.

I'm worried by the uncertainty of it all. I'm back at work part time, and am worrying about finances. Rent, nursery fees etc.

Can I ask how you ladies cope doing everything on your own?

Sat at home alone, with a sleeping baby, and my mind is racing

[sunnyblossom1]

I am not able to help but just wanted to say that I hope you’re ok. I am sure it will be difficult but you will find happiness. Normally that happiness is within ourselves and our children

[adviceplease321]

Thank you @sunnyblossom1 it doesn't feel like it now but I have to believe I'll be happy again, I just can't see it right now

[Mlou32]

I know it'll be hard emotionally however I'd try and deal with the practicalities first. Do you work? If so, will you be ok for childcare? Finances? Maybe try and work all that out first, it'll then be easier to deal with the emotional side if you know you're at least going to be ok in a practical sense.

[adviceplease321]

@Mlou32 yes part time work, and my son is at nursery those days. I need to find out if I'm entitled to any benefits. If I know we're going to be ok money wise it'll be a big weight off my mind

[Mlou32]

Could you maybe have a quick look on 'entitled to'? It'll work out what you'll be entitled to as a single person with a child. It'll be a massive weight off your mind knowing that you'll be ok in a practical sense. I'm sorry you're going through a difficult time.

[adviceplease321]

@Mlou32 thank you yes I'll take a look at that and hopefully will get enough to cover bills etc. At Least it will keep my mind busy looking into it

[anxiousnow]

Sorry to hear OP. Yes apply for working tax credit to help boost your waged and single adult allowance for your council tax. Is your partner likely to pay a good maintenance or just the ridiculous minimum CMS figure?

[RoseMartha]

I know it feels overwhelming and your mind is racing from one thing to another especially regarding your finances. Breathe.

Take one day at a time. Take one problem at a time. This was the only way I got through it. Whole divorce proceeding went on for nearly two years. I thought it would never end, but it did.

Seek help from people. Chat to people on here who are in the same position.

As Mlou suggested use an online benefit calculator. Go to citizens advice. Ask at a local childrens centre or HV.


I spent a lot of time worrying about money, still do a bit because although I am divorced the family home still needs to be sold and I have to find somewhere for the DC and I to live with my share of the equity, which is going to be at the bottom end of the market.

Most of all, take one day at a time. Do not worry about where you will be at in a month or six months time, just focus on the day you are in and deal with things one step at a time. 🤗 good luck