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Divorce Consent of order disagreement or court hearing

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DeborahParis Sat 15-Feb-20 12:23:24


Hello Mums net community, so nice to be able to post and share some my divorce challenges. I have been trying to negotiate a settlement with my soon to be ex husband and solicitors. I feel like My solicitor is pushing me to sign a consent of order including a settlement and clauses/conditions to receive this settlement from my ex which are not in my best interest, ie I’d have to wait for him to sell the property whilst it seems that he has other options to give me the settlement which he refuses to consider. So my issue is that my solicitor is telling me that I have no grounds to go to court and settle the matter at court whilst I feel that this divorce has been taking 2 years & we haven’t been able to find a common ground....the only agreement we have found is on the settlement money but no deadline for him to give me this settlement has been firmly agreed. Along the divorce process my ex has missed every deadlines which were set and he has a habit of procrastination...So I feel that the matter would get settled at court much quicker and the court would enforce it & he would take the matter more seriously to respect deadlines. My sollicitor is encouraging me to continue negotiating with my ex whilst this process has been taking 2 years and I have spent thousands of pounds already in fees. Has anyone had to go to court for their divorce and what was your experience of it? Thanks ever so much for your help, I’m in desperate need of advice. I’m grateful for your help

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LouMumsnet (MNHQ) Fri 28-Feb-20 10:36:57

Just bumping this for you, @DeborahParis, and hopefully someone will be along soon with some advice. Best of luck with it all. flowers

FrockFrockFrockityFrock Fri 28-Feb-20 21:44:41

How much are the assets to be divided? It might not make sense to pay the expensive court costs if the assets are small.

AFAIK any deadline would be written in a consent order. Your solicitor should be able to give an estimate though of when a settlement might be paid to you. Solicitors deal with this stuff a lot and know how long things take. If a house needs to be sold to make a settlement happen, obviously that is an unknown amount of time, as it relies on finding a buyer.

Is your solicitor telling you you can get more? Or that whatever the current offer is is the best you will do? You say your solicitor is pushing you to sign but then say further along in your post that your solicitor is encouraging you to negotiate.

Is your STBX living in the property currently? Would he be required to put the house for sale upon consent order being signed? What other options does he have to pay you now?

DeborahParis Fri 28-Feb-20 22:26:41

Thanks ever so much for your message. My solicitor is insisting I sign a consent of order agreeing for the settlement to be paid once the house has been sold. My STBX has had an offer on the property but I haven’t received any written proof that he has accepted the offer and the exchange is meant to happen in April. My ex has been promising to sell the property for the last 12 years and has never done so.....this one was of the few reasons why we weren’t able to move forward with our marriage. So I feel that the sale could easily be delayed or can fall through. I feel that if I sign the consent of order with the agreement that my settlement can only come from the sale of the property..I have little guarantee as to when my settlement can be paid.....and if I do sign this agreement and the sale doesn’t happen, I will have to continue with court proceedings anyway. In terms of the settlement my solicitor thinks that the settlement is within the range that I could expect but I felt that my expectations were lowered during the process and I had to push for a fairer settlement. Thanks ever so much for your help. Deborah

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Happygirl79 Fri 28-Feb-20 22:30:50

How much money are we talking about
Only asking because it has to be considered in context with your solicitors bill

DeborahParis Fri 28-Feb-20 22:31:09

I forgot to add that my STBX has included is mortgage capacity which would cover way more than the agreed settlement but it isn’t accurate information as he admitted this is only on a new property. So he hasn’t completed the information if he remortgage some of the property. Selling the property is his decision whilst he could potentially get a loan to pay for the settlement. Since the information on his loan capacity hasn’t been completed....I only have information on the value of the property. Thanks again for your help. Deborah

OP’s posts: |
DeborahParis Fri 28-Feb-20 22:37:20

The settlement is roughly 24-25% of the total equity of the property. The court fees I was told can range between £3k to £7k whilst my case is quite straightforward so I think this would cost me £5k. I feel that the more I try to negotiate....and get these consent of orders done & continue dealings with my solicitor the more I get charged anyway....and the longer it takes to get resolved....

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DeborahParis Fri 28-Feb-20 22:37:56

Thanks ever so much for your help 😄

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LemonTT Sat 29-Feb-20 10:07:34

Sadly OP you are experiencing the rough end of a divorce. This is why many people never want to get married again (no matter what advantages others may advocate). You have also found out that one of the biggest levers in a divorce is the ability to procrastinate. This usually falls to somebody who stays in the house, has a high income and has no reason or need to speed things along. ☹️

If I understand your situation properly, you and your ex have agreed a settlement. He is offering to fund his contribution to you by selling the house. He has put the house on the market and received an offer with a completion date of April.

Your issue is that you know he has a history of procrastination, throughout the divorce and historically in relation to the home. Your problem is that you need to prove this pattern and specifically in relation to the divorce.

Because his offer is an entirely reasonable and very usual one to an outside observer. Unless you demonstrate otherwise. Even then, the court may decide that he should be given the opportunity to deliver on his offer.

I think this is why your solicitor is advising you to sign. He or she doesn’t think you have a realistic chance of winning a case that forces him to release the money by other means. They want you to give your ex the rope to hang himself. To effectively show bad faith. That’s something that takes time, not necessarily money or courts. For now.

The best response is to show you have the time, not always possible I know. Maybe just take comfort that house prices are rising and you may get more money in the end. In fact tell him that you would be more than happy to get a larger settlement in the long run.

DeborahParis Sat 29-Feb-20 12:00:38

I see, thanks ever so much for your comments. This is very helpful, I understand the challenges you’re describing. My solicitor isn’t at this point advising me to renegotiate...but just to sign the current consent of order & if the sale doesn’t happen force a sale with the a court order. I’m seeing a more senior solicitor on Monday to get her opinion on the case. As you quite rightly mentioned it is hard to prove procrastination, and I would add neglect and emotional abuse..hopefully things will change. Thank you

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madcatladyforever Sat 29-Feb-20 12:26:14

The court costs would be around £30,000 so you must weight that up with the money you are being offered.
You can have have half the assets obtained after your marriage so basically if your ex owned a home outright before you got married you can't have it.
These are the very basic rules.
Personally I'd not settle for waiting for him to sell the house as you cold be waiting forever if he chooses to put obstacles in your way.
Your other option is to choose to not sign the consent order nor to agree to the divorce and tell him the ball is in his court now.
I would sign nothing until I got the money.
Leave that with him.

madcatladyforever Sat 29-Feb-20 12:27:32

Sorry....CAN cost up to £30k if things get complicated.

DeborahParis Sat 29-Feb-20 13:16:06

Thank you, I understand, my solicitor gave me a range between £3k to £7k as I don’t think my case is very complicated. I agree I don’t feel comfortable signing something which I do not feel comfortable I know for sure that deep down I will regret it....I think after years and years of practise I learnt the lesson. History and repetitive patterns can say so much about someone. Thanks for your comments

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