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Can I ask him to divorce me for adultery?

(15 Posts)
Brabbs Mon 27-Jan-20 21:30:46

I had an affair. Marriage was dead and I didn't end it for various reasons but now I have.
Stbxh has met someone new and I'm making a life with my affair man.

It's as amicable as it was going to get and we have no quarrels over kids money etc so are doing a diy divorce. But I don't feel comfortable listing his unreasonable behaviour that led to my affair so can I ask him to divorce me for having an affair?

Are there any legal implications?

OP’s posts: |
Singlenotsingle Mon 27-Jan-20 21:34:30

You can do. He might agree. He might not. Why don't you wait 2 years and divorce with agreement of both parties? No hurry, is there?

Brabbs Mon 27-Jan-20 21:35:54

We both just want it over with.

OP’s posts: |
Yesyesitsme Mon 27-Jan-20 21:39:01

Yes, you can ask him to petition for divorce on the basis of your infidelity. Papers would be sent to your new partner as well as you. I hope you can keep things amicable.

Singlenotsingle Mon 27-Jan-20 21:44:03

2 years separation with consent is always best. No bad feeling, no possibility of a defence going in, and it will be cheapest.

waterSpider Mon 27-Jan-20 22:06:30

In a few months -- unknown how many -- England will probably get no-fault divorce.

RandomMess Mon 27-Jan-20 22:12:06

If he now has a new partner you can divorce him for adultery 🤷🏽‍♀️

Pentaras Mon 27-Jan-20 22:41:58

The only difference is that the one petitioning has to do more paperwork. The other just adds a few signatures.

Honestly, no one else cares what the reason is or who did what.

Brabbs Tue 28-Jan-20 04:23:02

Thank you all. I don't think waiting will be an option and I've looked up the no blame divorce and can't work out if or when it will happen!?

We have sold the house and split the proceeds, he's no interest in my pension and there are no further assets. The children are old enough to speak their minds over who they spend time with and no maintenance payment is required.
It all looks quite easy in black and white...!

He will never agree to being petitioned for adultery. Despite wanting to forgive the affair initially, once I made it clear I didn't want him to as I wanted us to separate, he became understandably nasty about it. Not proud of myself and in his more rational moments stbxh agreed we should have walked away years ago. But I'm actually still shocked that I had an affair but no denying I did.

Thanks again will have a word when I see him!

OP’s posts: |
RandomMess Tue 28-Jan-20 08:08:28

But he has committed adultery 🤷🏽‍♀️ if he has slept with his current partner!

Perhaps ask him nicely to initiate divorce and give him a time frame and if he doesn't then just petition yourself.

RandomMess Tue 28-Jan-20 08:12:04

Perhaps do the research on how to do a DIY divorce with just needing a solicitor each to sign it off. You can send him a link?

Brabbs Tue 28-Jan-20 17:34:56

Thanks @randommess I've downloaded the forms once and got as far as citing his behaviour and it just didn't feel right. I'll try have a discussion with him about it ASAP again

OP’s posts: |
RandomMess Tue 28-Jan-20 17:47:44

I guess you say that you want it done and does he want to instigate or would he rather you did? I wonder if he is enjoying a bit of power over it all?

Yesyesitsme Tue 28-Jan-20 20:24:03

How long ago did your husband become aware of your adultery? It has to be within the last 6 months. Similarly, examples of unreasonable behaviour must be within the last 6 months.

Brabbs Tue 28-Jan-20 22:56:15

Hi yes it's since November. I admitted it to him and we separated.

OP’s posts: |

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