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Separation- working out custody/contact

(3 Posts)
Wakeuplachy Thu 23-Jan-20 20:35:59

Can I have some suggestions of fair custody/contact for 18 month old dd?

Ex & I are separating & currently still living together which is hellish, we haven’t talked really about custody yet and he’s not great at compromise so I’d like to be prepared.

He is happy for her to live with me mainly it seems but wants to be able to ‘see her all the time’. I’m happy to be flexible but think we probably need some set days.

Currently I work part time & am with her most of the time. I do almost everything to look after her, though he is happy to take her out for the day/play with her for a couple of hours. She adores him.

I just don’t know what is fair. I’m going to have to start working more so will have childcare to think about. She still doesn’t sleep very well so I don’t really want him to only have overnights at the weekend and I don’t want to still be doing everything whilst he just swoops in whenever he wants to do the fun stuff. But obviously it’s about what is best for DD, and that’s what I don’t have the answer to.

I’m thinking perhaps one/two overnights/evenings during the week and a day with her at the weekend perhaps? Does that seem reasonable?

OP’s posts: |
sleepismysuperpower1 Thu 23-Jan-20 20:46:32

you could try the Every 3rd day schedule? this is when your toddler would spend every 3rd day with the nonresidential parent, so say Tuesdays and Saturdays for your Ex, and the rest of the days for you? your proposal sounds reasonable too though. try and make a parenting plan (template attached), so that if you decide to go to court in the future you have something to refer to. all the best x

BrendasUmbrella Thu 23-Jan-20 21:01:38

You didn't mention his work schedule. Does he work full time?

Also, would your dd be fine with overnights? It may be a bit much for a child who can't be told why she can't see Mummy... I think court ordered overnight visits don't start until the child is older unless it has been agreed by the parents.

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