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Has anyone any experience of TOLATA?

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user765 Thu 09-Jan-20 19:39:35

Abusive ex, currently in family court because his abusive behaviour (ongoing) and his cocaine, alcohol and mental health issues are a risk for the children. I’m told the property is a separate issue.

We never married but were engaged and own a house jointly, which I have always paid for out of my own current account. Whilst together he paid minimal ad hoc amounts to me to cover bills, food, and children’s costs, but this was never specified. I finally asked him to leave in 2017 because of the domestic abuse, which the children were by then witnessing. We were tenants in common and usually this means 50/50 split. However, he sent emails in 2018 (before blocked - he was harassing me with vile messages all day and night for months) saying he wanted to sign the house over to me (so intended to remove his beneficiary interest) but obviously now wants some money, even though I paid for everything. The deposit came from our parents (mostly on my side).

I have read TOLATA can result in ‘all or nothing’ but am not sure I know what this means. Does it mean the court can make an order to remove his beneficiary interest?

My ex keeps making vexatious claims against me, accusing various people of child abuse etc, and me supposedly attacking him; he has since retracted this.

His latest claim in the county court arrived on 3rd Jan. I have had enough. I need to get away from this man but my money is in the house and negotiating with him will be impossible as he persistently uses the courts and his solicitor mate to harass me with threats.

If anyone has been in a similar situation with TOLATA I would really appreciate any advice. I am massively in debt with my solicitor from family issues as my ex deliberately escalated the costs. Using a solicitor to correspond with him will cripple me financially. Thank you

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