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Marriage counselling?

(2 Posts)
Pumba3 Tue 07-Jan-20 18:13:49

My husband and I have been experiencing some difficulties in our marriage and I’m keen to sort them out! Our arguments are becoming more and more vile, with each of us saying more and more hurtful things to each other! I’ve suggested counselling but my husband keeps saying that he doesn’t think it will do any good. His approach is to just to not argue and suck it up!! His attitude is that marriage counselling always ends in divorce, my approach is let’s find a way to get along better and if a third person can help us achieve that then why not!! It’s a bit of a loaded question but why do you think men seem reluctant to seek help with this sort of stuff, and is he right? X

OP’s posts: |
abstractprojection Fri 10-Jan-20 14:37:03

I think the suggestion of therapy within relationships, if it be couple or individual, can be perceived as 'there's something wrong with you, you need fixing, you need to change' etc. Which most people don't want to hear or do. Rather then 'there's something wrong with our relationship, which we need to fix, and yes that might involve use both having to make some changes'.

And some spouses do try and use it in the hope of proving them-self right, or coercing their other half into doing or not doing what they want them too.

Then there's also complacency. Like it's not broken don't fix it. But a reluctance or lack of awareness to see that it might not be quite broken, but it is breaking. It's quite comment to hear a guy say a divorce 'came out of nowhere', while his wife may say 'I've been trying to make this work for the last three years'.

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