I added a previous thread about my marriage breakdown. In essence after 8 years together and almost 5 years married, my husband abruptly decided he doesn’t feel the same anymore and wants out. He can’t articulate why this happened and I’m at a loss as I genuinely thought up until very recently everything was ok.
I’m trying to make myself see that I’ll be better off without him and I know divorce is the only option as even if he changed his mind I would never ever trust him again.
That said, there’s two things I’m struggling with.
A) How do you just let go of everything you built together? We made so many lovely memories and such a good life. This is my first adult relationship so I’m really struggling with just accepting that life as I know it is over and my new life without him is going to be so different and in some ways difficult.
Another stinger is that he also earns quite a bit more than me so although I’m coming out of the settlement ok he’ll be able to continue his good life and I’ll struggle. Given how heartless he’s been and how much or a coward he’s been this feels so unjust. Daft I know.
B) The what comes next. Because I didn’t have closure I’m not sure what went wrong. I’ve pretty much just had “it’s not you, it’s me”. And all conversations have been over WhatsApp, he’s too cowardly to speak to my face. He’s adamant there’s no one else and I’m not sure if I believe him but don’t have much choice. That said, the idea of him being with someone else now or later, confiding in someone else and sharing his world with someone else makes me so sad. I feel so rejected and the idea of the “next woman” who in his eyes will be so much better than me just hurts so much.
For anyone that has gone through this, how do you do it? How do you stop those feelings?
Any advice would be much appreciated x
Please or to access all these features
Please
or
to access all these features
Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.
Divorce/separation
Moving past missing someone and the fears
51 replies
Notamummybutneedhelp · 05/01/2020 21:11
OP posts:
Don’t want to miss threads like this?
Weekly
Sign up to our weekly round up and get all the best threads sent straight to your inbox!
Log in to update your newsletter preferences.
You've subscribed!
Please create an account
To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.