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Anyone else suffering from Petitioner’s Guilt??

(3 Posts)
HulaChick Mon 30-Dec-19 13:54:44

Hi, am at Decree Nisi stage, waiting for pronouncement, having told DH wanted divorce back in June. He took it hard and doesn’t really want to get divorced, thinking that if I gave him a chance that my feelings for him would come back. I’ve told him that I don’t love him in the way that a wife should love her husband anymore and that there no going back. I don’t find him physically attractive anymore but can’t be that cruel to tell him that (that is not, btw, the reason I’m divorcing him but not going into detail here). He is a lovely person, a good Dad but his treatment of me over the years switched me off completely and I’ve felt emotionally detached for a few years now. He will be moving out and I will (depending on finalisation if Financisl Agreenent) be keeping the house but not claiming any of his pension or savings. He has put all his efforts and love into the house and garden which we both love and, really, it’s about this that I feel the most guilt, as he will end up moving to a much smaller house in a town with likely little or no garden. It was partly because I know how much he lioves home and garden that I put off telling him I wanted a divorce for so long. I feel totally responsible for causing him so much upset and trauma but I don’t see why I should sacrifice my future life for the sake of him staying here- he says we would have a far better, more secure financial future if we stayed together which we would but I want to be free and feel hsppy. He says I’m being very selfish and only thinking of myself. He has been really trying and we’ve been getting on so much better (but then he’ll have a flare up about it all) but it’s all too late for me. We’ve both said that our total lack of communication about the state of our marriage has been the biggest killer of it but I really can’t face spending the rest of my life with him as a couple! Anyway, I keep feeling huge waves of guilt, especially as he’s essentially a kind and lovely person, and just wondered if anyone else feels the same??

OP’s posts: |
Tippletopple Tue 31-Dec-19 12:52:12

He’s a “lovely person” but his “treatment of me over the years switched me off completely”? Sorry OP but this does not compute. One statement invalidates the other. Without going into the reason you’re divorcing I’m not sure anyone can really help?

Ss770640 Tue 31-Dec-19 20:03:25

So why did you marry him?

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