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I’ve had enough! Advice needed please

(4 Posts)
Bluemom Sun 08-Dec-19 23:08:24

I don’t know if anyone can help me work this out but I’m going to share this in the hope someone can shed some light on this... please be brutally honest!
I’ve been with my partner for 15.5 years. Since day one he’s doubted me, questioning my loyalty to him and worse of all, doubting that he is the father to our son.
I’ve never ever cheated on him but he constantly accuses me of having someone else. He, however lies all the time. He drinks in secret, lies about how long he’s been at work for, has stolen money from my bag, pockets, around the house and worst of all our kids money boxes. We’ve tried to get over huge amounts of doubt that he has lied about from payday loans with high interest to credit cards and bank loans I knew nothing about. Thousands of pounds have been borrowed without a single penny ever benefiting our household. Now we are paying it all off and struggling to get by each month. I took on a ten grand loan to try and sort it and he promised he’d help me. That was 3 years ago and he hasn’t paid anything off it. The worst thing of all is the weird behaviour. He’s often confused, aggressive, sensitive and clingy but angry too. Is he feeling guilty? Some days he won’t leave me alone, constantly texting even if I’m in the same house! Other times he avoids me at all costs. I really feel like he’s the one hiding something. He doesn’t believe anything I say because he knows he can’t be trusted. But what is he hiding and what can I do? I have told him I’m done I can’t keep forgiving lies, debt, accusations and violence. Our boys are 12 and 14 and it’s getting to them now. I always thought it would be best for them if I just put up with it but it’s not right I know it’s not. But where can I go? We rent our house and he refuses to leave. I’m not in a financial position to leave but it’s really getting to me. What can I do? Help!!

OP’s posts: |
Louise91417 Sun 08-Dec-19 23:13:31

Sounds like he has a serious gambling problem...lying,debt,aggressiveness all classic signs.

I'm with @Louise91417, I think he's gambling.

Fairycake2 Mon 09-Dec-19 21:26:07

He's definitely hiding something. Often people who acuse others are doing something they shouldn't be themselves. Get some advice and contact the council about housing if he won't leave. You need to do what is best for you and your DCs. You've given him 15 years but if he's making you unhappy then he doesn't deserve any more. I wish you all the luck in the world x

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