Advanced search

Taking so long!

(6 Posts)
paris100 Tue 03-Dec-19 19:02:24

After being in an emotionless and sexless relationship for 8 years, I told H that I wanted to separate in May and saw a solicitor who wrote to him asking him to provide details of assets etc. We agreed a separation date of May this year.
Fast forward to October when he still hadn’t done so and had to be prompted on several occasions then duly provided rough figures.
My solicitor wrote to him with a proposed 60/40 settlement where I buy him out, leaving him with his pensions and investment flat. H is opposed to all forms of discussion or negotiation and demands a 50/50 split (for context our 3 children would remain with me and I work part time). He won’t discuss things and says that everything has to go via the solicitor.

I’m getting frustrated that we are now into December with no resolution in sight. I can’t even work out if I can afford to remain in the marital home as I’m confused. My solicitor has given him a deadline now but H has only recently consulted a solicitor and therefore thinks the separation is very recent.
I feel that this is taking a mental toll on me. H is still in our house, bed etc and the atmosphere is toxic. We have no spare bedroom. I’ve asked him to move out in the interim but he’s in no hurry to, saying that he can’t afford to.
I’m sorry for the waffle but I really don’t know what to do. I think he thinks I’ll change my mind but I can’t live in a sexless relationship.

OP’s posts: |
HollyIvy89 Tue 03-Dec-19 19:24:24

I feel your pain. I could have written it and I am only in week 8.
What happens after the deadline given?

paris100 Tue 03-Dec-19 20:54:18

After the deadline the solicitor says I can take out a writ against him. But that’s when it gets very expensive so I’d rather we were able to agree on things before then. H doesn’t seem to give a hoot though.

OP’s posts: |
BlackTulip71 Tue 03-Dec-19 23:04:36

Totally sympathise. I’m about 18 months in. H is still in the house but fortunately I’m in a spare room. He’s definitely been in denial. Refused mediation and any talk of the future. However a notable switch now and seems in a hurry to get out. Seems he’s flirting and stating a new relationship. He doesn’t know I know. Been married 15 years. 2 daughters. He doesn’t accept my offer to buy him out the house which is 50/50. I have some other investments from before marriage. I’m hoping now to get him to mediation.

I can’t wait to be free !

Good luck to you.

HollyIvy89 Wed 04-Dec-19 08:50:17

What’s a writ?

paris100 Wed 04-Dec-19 18:02:04

I think it’s where he’s taken to court...I think

OP’s posts: |

Join the discussion

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

Join Mumsnet

Already have a Mumsnet account? Log in