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My rights

(9 Posts)
Tiger785 Tue 05-Nov-19 21:20:15

Me and partner have seperated ( I didn't want to) and she wanted me to move out of our home which I didn't want to but moved back to my mothers (only had the house 1yr) we have joint mortgage and 3 children. I work full time, partner works cash in hand so no payslips etc. She is going to be getting universal credits and says she can afford the mortgage. I now pay nothing towards the house as i am not living there. The car is in my name but she has it for school runs etc so,I have told her I am not paying for the car I am not using. We have agreed a few for child maintenance. I want to sell the house so I can use my share of equity to move on, she won't entertain that for at least 6months which I don't want to wait that long. I can't get a mortgage with my name on the joint mortgage, I can't take my name off our mortgage as she has no proof she can afford the payments. I need to know what rights I have. Also child support is based on gross wage not take home. Once I get a new place be rent or mortgage do I deduct the cost incl bills from my wages to work out new child support fee?

OP’s posts: |
GoldenBlue Tue 05-Nov-19 21:38:46

Are you married? That makes quite a difference as it may be easier to force through a sale if you're not.

Maintenance is not adjusted to take into account your costs, these are already taken in to account as worst case you'd pay 31% of your income, compared to you keeping 69%

Ss770640 Thu 07-Nov-19 19:46:30

1. Move back in.

2. Tell her you want to discuss all financials

3. Speak to a lawyer with bank statements showing deposits

misspiggy19 Thu 07-Nov-19 20:02:52

Move back home. She’s the one to end it, she should leave.

Tiger785 Thu 07-Nov-19 20:32:11

We was engaged (v long engagement) . I've tried telling her we need to sell, she says she doesn't want to, or at least for another 6 months then calls me selfish for wanting to be able to get a fresh start. She says with her stress and depression she can't cope with moving and uprooting the girls. Things are slightly in my favour as she needs a car, school run and for kids she looks after. The car is all in my name, she has it for now but in a few wks I've got it back for a few months as she has got her mothers. If she still insists on staying then the car stays with me.
She went to a appointment with jobcentre and they want my last 6 pay slips to work out how much child care allowance I should be paying. I'm not giving them any. We both went on the csa calculator and I said I will pay that. Anymore and I will threaten to move back in....that I know she won't be able to cope with. I've got a free half hr consultation with a solicitor next wk and will be going to citizens advice before too.

OP’s posts: |
Freeat40 Thu 07-Nov-19 20:46:35

You have every right to have the house re-valued and put on the market to sell. Or move back in. Your right you wont be able to get another mortgage while you have that house. If you are married however and it goes to court a judge could place a Mesher order on the house which means you cant sell it until your children reach 18. Which means you will be liable for the mortgage and have to pay rent elsewhere. It's in your best interest to try to get her to sell (which could take many months). doesnt seem fair but a court will always do what's best for the children.

Ss770640 Thu 07-Nov-19 21:20:52

You don't state if your married.

If your not then move back in. She wants to seperate. So say goodbye.

Stop allowing her to bully you.

She is emotionally blackmailing you.

She wants a seperation? She moves out. Put a 50/50 plan in place for kids and wave goodbye to her.

Why should you be the one to move out? She's the one that wants to seperate. Tell her to fend for herself.

In the meantime force a 50/50 visitation

Tiger785 Thu 07-Nov-19 21:21:20

Luckily we weren't married.

OP’s posts: |
Ss770640 Thu 07-Nov-19 21:30:32

If your not married then wave goodbye and wish her the best.

Stay in your own home with your kids.

She wants to leave then wave goodbye.

It's your home as much as hers.

Your number 1 concern is that she'll play the victim and somehow magically stop you from seeing them. Your worry is that if you don't bend over to please her that you'll lose custody. This is not how courts work.

Pro tip. She is not god. And courts grant equal rights as parents.

Move back in. Sleep on the couch. Get your financial situation documented. Agree on terms then go from there. A few hours of legal advice is well worth it.

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