Hi all. I am brand new member and just wanted to hear some thoughts on my (soon to be ) ex – wife’s claim to spousal maintenance.
feelings towards her and her claim for spousal maintenance.
I petitioned for divorce just over a year ago for adultery (she was and I think still is)seeing a work colleague. She as admitted to this in her response so I can apply for Decree Nisi(still need to do this)
Basics are:
Married for 12 years, 2 boys 8 and 6 (Im 42 she is 40) and we own 3 houses which have a total combined equity of around £700K. We both still live the main family home (I’m in the converted garage so we can stay out of each others space) She has worked full time through our entire marriage with kids having no impact on her career, and has had the same job for around 20 years now. She earns around £38K a year and has a final salary pension with a cash value of £279K. I am a high earner making in a good year 3 – 4 times more than she does. I have a normal contributory pension with a cash value at £120K
I want to be clear though in our relationship I am not seen as the breadwinner in terms of childcare, we both have worked full time and have always equally shared child caring responsibilities. Going forward we will continue this 50% all the way while both continuing with our jobs.
I proposed a complete 50 -50 split on all assets, This would give her enough to buy another place (3 bed detached) very close to where we live now and live comfortably with the boys 1 week on 1 week off (again just to reiterate 50% share on childcare) on a very low mortgage. So I thought this would be as simple as a divorce could be, we went to out first mediation MIAM session where she announced she needs £4250 (she came up with a ridiculous expense like £400 month holiday expense) to live each month on top of the 50/50 asset split (so take away her salary 4250 – 2400 = 1150 ) meaning I must pay her £1150 every month in spousal maintenance.
I’m still in shock about this but would like to hear from members what they think, especially ones that have had to fight spousal maintenance claims. My concern is I am a much higher earner than she is, but if you remove this factor she would be in a very good position to have all her “needs” covered. Additionally her pension is worth £160K more than mine and if I had to contribute to mine to match hers I would have less than her salary (£2400) left over every month.
Currently we have given up on mediation as she refuses to budge and we are about to start court proceedings.
Of course I will never let my boys suffer and contribute extra where needed (I do all ready .) If she was a stay at home mum then none of this would be an issue (I would happily pay spousal maintenance).
Very keen to hear thoughts on how the courts will view this and apologies for the novel length ramble.
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Divorce/separation
Spousal maintenance
35 replies
AdrianK101 · 05/11/2019 17:52
OP posts:
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