4 years ago I left the family home with my 3 young dc. I was at breaking point. The only communication I was getting was snide remarks, criticism and the silence. I was very unhappy and feeling totally broken. I never thought I had it in me to leave. I was totally financially dependant having 3 young children, never went out and had no friends or family nearby. I went to my mum's 150 miles away as that was the only place I could go.
I started working and rented my own place and recently bought somewhere with the help of my mum.
I tried about a year ago to get a divorce but he would not attend mediation and my costs with the solicitor rising so I gave up. He still lives back in the family home that was.
I have never stopped him seeing the children and facilitated it as much as I can. In the beginning he'd come and see them one weekend and I'd drive down the next. Then he started coming less and turned down my efforts to take them saying he was tired or busy.
Now it seems to be only during the holidays for a few days.
2 of their birthdays just passed. He put money in my account to buy some presents from him but no cards or visit.
Dd rang him tonight asking if they could go down (I told him it was half term this week well in advance) or if he was coming and his reply wS 'not the best time at the moment'.
My two younger ones are less and less interested and don't bother to call him or talk if my older one does. He hardly ever calls them.
This evening I just had a huge wave of guilt come over me looking at my 11 year olds face trying to smile when she was really sad and disappointed.
I don't know why he is not bothering now. Is it because he feels too bad when they leave or because he just can't be bothered?
He is a workaholic and always put work before us rarely spending time with us when we were there but what if he rely did care?
I'm so confused and upset for the kids. I also feel so much guilt.
I have always stayed on my own so there has never been anyone else involved.
Please help me out with my confusion.
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Divorce/separation
Still feeling guilty 4 years on
15 replies
poloarpanda123 · 28/10/2019 22:03
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