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Advice? Am I being realistic?

(2 Posts)
Middleagemum Mon 28-Oct-19 17:26:55

I asked my husband for a divorce after 22 years of marriage and 24 years together. We initially tried cohabitating but I discovered he signed up to Tinder and Plenty of Fish the next day.
I kicked him out as this was the reason for ending the marriage in the first place.
I want to be amicable.
Its been years of him being caught chatting to other women online and saying he has a porn addiction. I’ve offered support as although successful in his career he really has become an empty human.
The start of this year while on holiday I discovered he had an sti that he was trying to hide from me.
To this day he swears he’s never cheated.
I have gone through severe depression and can’t seem to get over the fact that even now he still doesn’t choose me.
I have said let’s get help, sex therapy, couples therapy, both?
He said no but has done nothing to improve. I couldn’t see a future because I can’t trust and want a marriage that is secure.
We just told the kids 19&20. But I’m heartbroken.
His family is telling him to get a quickie divorce and be rid of me.
I’m now embarking on my career as it was on hold for him and the kids.
Any advice on how to stop crying and how to protect myself financially?
I’m eating healthy, exercising, studying.
I don’t want maintenance indefinitely just until I achieve my goals. He earns well but I think he’s shocked that I’ve finally ended things.
I’m a bit scared and feel all alone. Although my kids aren’t surprised, I don’t want to burden them with how fragile my emotions really are.
Any advice is appreciated.

OP’s posts: |
Louise000000 Mon 28-Oct-19 22:57:50

Just replied to you on my thread too but he sounds like a nightmare!
So sorry you are going through this. I saw my dad leave my mum when I was 24 and it was never a burden to support her emotionally so don't think you are a burden to your kids. They are young adults now and they would want to help I'm sure.
I can't give any advice other than time is a healer and all you can do is look after yourself and focus on your new career move.
I'm not sure on financial advice but would you be entitled to anything after the divorce?

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