Apologies if this isn’t the right place to post (it's my first time posting on mumsnet) but I don’t really know where else to turn to about this. My husband of 4 years announced at the end of the summer that he wasn’t happy, he agreed to counselling but I could tell his heart wasn’t in. He seemed to think a weekly session and then ignoring me the rest of the time would fix things… clearly not. We separated three weeks ago and he’s full steam ahead with the divorce. We don’t have children but have been together since we were teenagers. I lived my whole adult life with him.
I am trying to hard to hold it all together, to not give in to the angry ex stereotype but I am furious. I am furious that after 15 years together he didn’t even try. I am furious that he wants a quick divorce and therefore to site my unreasonable behaviour even though I don't think I was/am unreasonable. I am furious that not only has he blown up our lives but he’s taken our future away too. I am in my mid 30s, we were planning for a family and now I’m on my own. For the first time in my life.
The thing is I don't want to be furious. I don't want to be the bitter scorned ex-wife who can't get past her anger, but I think in trying so hard to not be that I've ignored that I am angry.
I have family and friends around me but I don’t know what to do. I think I’m in shock. And I suppose what I'm asking is am I allowed to be angry and if I give into it will it consume me or will it ebb and flow?
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Divorce/separation
Am I allowed to be angry?
8 replies
ohdarlingheart · 25/10/2019 14:08
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