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Advice please(5 Posts)
Married 13 years, 2 DC. I've been unhappy for years. DH and I have been through alot together but come through it. Basically we don't have sex at all and haven't for years. I used to make an effort but his lack of interest and even treating it like a chore ended up with me feeling humiliation therefore I stopped trying and he never initiates so that's that.
I do struggle with self esteem at times but handle it pretty well on the whole. Occasionally I try to talk to him about how I'm feeling and I'm met with, well nothing. No reassurance or affection. I'll get upset and ask him why can't he support me and his response is always the same - I'm after a arguement apparently so now I try not to talk to him about stuff like that because I end up feeling worse.
Anyway a switch has flicked in my brain -I've wanted out for years. The reason I haven't is I don't want to share anytime with my DC but now I'm thinking they're older and if we handle things correctly we can minimise the damage. The advice I need is what to do now as the timing is rubbish. We moved house 2 months ago and my Dd has just started a new school. She's very sensitive anyway and more clingy recently due to these life events. So should I hang on for another 6 months - get Xmas out the way, finish doing the house up and hopefully DD will be more settled in school. I've put up with the situation for 10 years - 6 months will make no difference and we don't argue or should I talk to DH about wanting a separation and go from there? Would counciling even be worth while? I don't think it would help but my kids are my priority and I just want to minimise any damage to them.
Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
Why don't you just speak to your DH straight
away. You don't have to tell the kids until after Xmas? That way a weight has been lifted. The ball is rolling. Then tell the kids afterwards. But communications are flowing and the seed is planted? Best of luck. It's not easy I'm going through it myself for very similar reasons and I'd had enough. There is never a good time for these things unfortunately. The sooner you do it the sooner you get you're life back
If hold off until after Christmas. If he doesn’t want to split then telling him now could set off a chain of events
Thanks for your replies.
I've had a good think today and decided to hold off untill next year. We rub along fine with no drama so no need to rush. I'd rather get my DD through this tough patch and get Xmas out of the way.
Hmm you are best to wait for now but Please don’t keep on putting this off
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