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Want to move back to Ireland with kids, what can I expect?

(9 Posts)
TriJo Fri 18-Oct-19 08:33:14

Married 4 years, together 8 years, 2 DS (3.5 and 21 months). Marriage is emotionally and sexually abusive (up to the point of marital rape). I am trying to get out, but want to move to Ireland with my boys as all my family and most of his live in Dublin, also given that I work in tech there is a ton of work for me there. We live in NW England at present and are renting. We are still living together at present. What should I expect in terms of the legal aspects of separation, divorce and relocation?

OP’s posts: |
NotSuchASmugMarriedNow1 Fri 18-Oct-19 18:43:32

I don't understand how he is still living with you after the rape. Didn't the police get a non molestation order for you?

Otter71 Sat 19-Oct-19 05:49:44

How much have you reported? I am guessing not much if anything if you are still there? As such you will probably be treated as if it didn't happen. Got the t shirt on that myself... Start reporting scary as it is and get out. Otherwise the control remains as you may well be required legally not to go back to Ireland..

TriJo Sat 19-Oct-19 07:19:21

I haven't reported any of it legally, I have disclosed it to my GP and counsellor though.

OP’s posts: |
thespellhasbeenbroken123 Sat 19-Oct-19 07:22:46

No advice
But sending hugs and I hope you get out of there x

ShitOnIt78 Sat 19-Oct-19 07:28:19

Start reporting it to the police OP.its horrible I know but you must. Of he takes out a prohibitive steps order the courts will stop you moving away with the children, so report his abuse and get a non mol to strengthen your case for leaving with them. I'm so sorry this is happening to you flowers

MarieG10 Sat 19-Oct-19 07:37:32

You need advice as there are restrictions about taking children out of the country in these circumstances

stucknoue Sat 19-Oct-19 07:56:37

You need to report to the police and either leave or have him removed if he raped you - it's a big allegation and if you don't take action at the time the courts won't necessarily believe you afterwards (people do make things up especially in child custody battles). To remove the kids from the area you either need his permission or that of the court if he objects.

Of course you could just go, I've never been asked leaving the country for proof just returning.

ElspethFlashman Sat 19-Oct-19 08:03:44

You need to consult a solicitor. There's no point asking strangers on the Internet before you've done that, not to be snarky, but it's true.

I suspect if you go to Ireland you will be able to stay there. Even post Brexit. Judges are less than keen to uproot kids once they've been enrolled in school and have the support of plenty of family around.

But you will help yourself if you have proof of abuse I. E. That you made a report with the police. At the moment you have zero proof. All you would be able to get is a GPs letter and a court would be quite reasonable to question that if it was bad enough for you to flee the country, then why didn't you touch base with the police? They will imply you didn't go to the police cos it didn't actually happen. Don't be a fool - cover your backside, touch base with the domestic abuse officer in your local area.

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