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Partners ex wife Critically ill advice please xx

(6 Posts)
Vivian88 Mon 14-Oct-19 12:57:58

Iv posted before in stepparents group about my partners ex wife. Not sure what group is best for advice. She is critically ill in Hosptial. She’s in a coma & had major brain surgery. I’m currently looking after my step children (well we’re not married) with my partner - he works full time so I need to do school runs etc as I fortunately work part time and from home and I also have a daughter.

Has anyone been in this situation? I have so many questions. What if she doesn’t pull through? Our flat isn’t big enough for 3 children as only 2 bedrooms . obviously we will sell and move but tht could take months. What happens a long term? I’m so scared and worried for my step kids. I will do anythin for them but I can’t replace there mum. I’m tryin so so hard to keep it together for them & they seem ok at moment. Going forward I don’t know what to expect. Anyone tht has any advice please message me xx

OP’s posts: |
BrotherForBear Mon 14-Oct-19 13:52:06

I'm sorry I don't really have advice but didn't want to read and run.
Even though its horrible what's happening with their mum younger stepkids are lucky that they have you and their dad looking out for them.
They won't expect you to replace their mum but they will remember how you stepped up when times were tough.
I wish you all the best of luck for the future

stucknoue Mon 14-Oct-19 20:16:19

So sorry for you all. In the sad event you have to be in full custody, is their home an option to live in temporarily? The kids would need lots of love, space doesn't matter as much. There's specialist bereavement services that can help you all too. But will be thinking of you all

waterSpider Mon 14-Oct-19 21:42:14

For now I think you need to be emotionally supportive, as you have been.

Practical arrangements will, of course, also depend on whether there is a will or other family on her side willing to be involved. Fair enough to talk to your partner at some point about the future, and ask if he has thought about what might happen practically. But have to choose the 'right time' for that.

Weenurse Sun 20-Oct-19 03:25:51

Does she have a partner and family?
Do they live in a home that you could move into if required?
Lots of hugs all around

Mesacasa Sun 20-Oct-19 03:30:20

No experience of this precise situation, only as a step mum to my step kids who are with us full time - just wanting to wish you all the best and say to take it one day at a time. And if the worst does happen, while i know you will love and support your step children, it's ok to privately feel scared and even a bit sad that your life as you knew it has changed. Your husband must allow you to use him as a safe place to voice your concerns. Hugs!

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