Update - almost two years on

[MrsDarcy4092]

Hello all
I doubt any of you will remember me but I posted back in Jan 2018 asking if leaving my marriage was the right decision. All of you agreed and gave me lots of support /a hard time about being a “naive dummy”. I think I was asked if I had learning disability! It was a really hard decision, hardest I have ever made . And probably the worst time of my life. Even harder than failed ivf.

So I wanted to update you all. We are legally separated , not divorced yet. Neither of us wanted to file before the two year mark as then one party has to be blamed. I have gone back to my maiden name. I have bought a little one bed flat which I love. I have gone back to uni part time studying a masters. And doing really well at work.
I had one relationship after I left the marriage, for about 6 months. We broke up a year ago and I’ve been single since. I have been on dating aps and had some fun dates but about 3 months ago I came off all aps and just been content with being single. ITs been amazing. So lovely. I have no aspirations to have another relationship. I would love children but right now it’s important I just focus on me.
For reasons that I won’t go into, I asked for my original post to be deleted.
But just wanted to update and give a virtual hug to anyone considering doing what I did in January 2018. It will feel hard at times, it still does for me sometimes, but eventually it all works out.

[Palaver1]

That’s great I really really admire you.
Life shouldn’t be as hard as it seems to be.
Thank you for coming back.

[MrsDarcy4092]

Thank you!

[AdelleLM]

Thank you

[ohdarlingheart]

Thanks for sharing @MrsDarcy4092, I'm so pleased for you and it definitely helps seeing people come out the other side.

[Minionmomma]

Such a lovely read. I’m so pleased for you. Your life sounds so happy and peaceful. Xx

[Itsallchange]

I love the part about loving your self and being content - that is what I’m striving for being happy with my own company xxx good luck for the rest x

[Newmumma83]

good for you

[KatherineJaneway]

Good for you

[Sadiesnakes]

Really lovely to read. Thank you for sharing

[MrsDarcy4092]

I continue to have doubts but they are much less intense and much less often.

Last weekend I went on a night out in London for a birthday and it was wonderful not having to worry if anyone but me was having a good time.,. I had an amazing time!

My marriage wasn’t all bad and I struggled as I was trying to weigh up the pros and cons but ultimately you may only have one con but if it’s bad enough then it outweighs all the good. I’ve also learnt that someone doing something to hurt you doesn’t make them a bad person - I struggled as I thought of my husband as a good person but he had done awful things to me. And I couldn’t put the two together.

I can pin point the moment I should have left him and it was about 9 years before I did. Better late than never! X