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Have no choice but to divorce him - advice needed please

(8 Posts)
HeadLikeSpaghetti Thu 03-Oct-19 13:11:30

Hello all. I posted a thread in relationships and with a bit of help from fellow mumsnetters discovered that my ‘perfect’ husband has been using prostitutes. No matter how much I love him I know I will never get over this so I am going to divorce him.
I’ve contacted a few solicitors and got quotes for fixed fee initial appointments, but then I had a massive meltdown over the whole thing and haven’t done anything else. I am feeling a bit stronger now and am ready to begin. But I don’t know the best way.
Could anyone tell me if we need to use a solicitor, or could mediation tell us how to divide everything up. I don’t want to fork out thousands on legal fees if I don’t need to. There are no pensions, just the house really. He is being fair at the moment saying I can have what I want but I don’t know how to get it all down legally.
Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Thank you x

OP’s posts: |
Moffa Thu 03-Oct-19 20:36:08

Are there children involved?

If not a straight 50/50 split seems fair.

If you have children you might want to remain in the house. You can get good advice from a solicitor in the free 30 mins. Write down all your questions.

Sorry you’re here but best of luck flowers

HeadLikeSpaghetti Thu 03-Oct-19 21:03:06

We have 2 teenagers. He said I can stay in the house as long as I want. But I’m aware he may change his mind

OP’s posts: |
HeadLikeSpaghetti Thu 03-Oct-19 21:03:37

And thank you for replying

OP’s posts: |
stucknoue Thu 03-Oct-19 21:14:12

You don't need to use a solicitor, you can file online. It's advisable to get a financial order in place and you can decide the contents among yourselves

Yukka Thu 03-Oct-19 21:28:46

If the children are under 18 I'd use a solicitor to make sure everything is considered and catered for. Depending on where they live could mean it's not straight 50/50?

WhoKnewBeefStew Thu 03-Oct-19 21:43:00

I would start now, whilst he's still feeling guilty. Yes you can arrange mediation which, if you're both happy with the outcome will save a lot of money. I would however speak to a solicitor, to ensure you won't agree to something that's unreasonable and you know what you can and can't ask for. Better to spend a couple of hundred to know where you're at. I did this. We went to mediation after I'd had a couple of hours with a solicitor finding out what was reasonable. I then had a good idea of what I would and wouldn't agree to

Froglady99 Thu 03-Oct-19 22:36:35

If you are going to use mediation I would absolutely use a solicitor as well to go over anything that is agreed at mediation. I was in a very similar situation to you regarding the reasons for the divorce, mediation was long and drawn out and it did get hostile to say the least. If I could do it all again I would just use a Solictor only- get recommendations though.
In the beginning it took me a little while to get the impetus to start divorce proceedings, but if you are intending on divorcing for adultery there is a time limit in which you have a apply ( I think 6 months but can't remember precisely!).
Most importantly look after yourself, get any help you can like counselling/support from friends and it will help you through the process.
It is the best thing I have ever done and the relief was, and still is, amazing. Good luck

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