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Cheating Partner won’t leave the house we both own

(16 Posts)
KeepingTheHouse Tue 01-Oct-19 13:09:04

Discovered partners secret life after I went through his phone (something I’ve never done before) after he started acting really suspiciously, coming home late, stopped having sex, being totally off. Looking back now he hid it terribly.

Anyway he still living in the house. After many arguments I’ve asked him to leave multiple times. Not only has he totally betrayed me but is also verbally abusive. Called me names in the past I wouldn’t imagine calling anyone including shaming and racist remarks towards me.

There’s one problem

The house is in both of our names. We are a young couple and he earns considerably more money than me so he had put more money into the house than me, however, I have put practically every penny I have into this house let alone decorated every room and take care of the house over all. So I am left with nothing if I leave and don’t really have anywhere to go.

We don’t have any children.

We are not married.

My question is how do I get this bastard out and keep the house to myself? Is there a way? I’ll take anything!

OP’s posts: |
PrayingandHoping Tue 01-Oct-19 13:13:05

One of you needs to agree to buy the other out..... have you gone and got mortgage advise to see if you can afford to take it on by yourself?

KeepingTheHouse Tue 01-Oct-19 13:17:36

He could afford to buy me out however I couldn’t afford to buy him out. But he won’t.

OP’s posts: |
PrayingandHoping Tue 01-Oct-19 13:19:07

In those circumstances you won't be able to stay.
You need to get legal advise and an order that the house will need be sold so you both get your equity back

Phimma Tue 01-Oct-19 13:22:45

He still has every right to stay on the house. Same as you do, sadly this is the law.

Doormat247 Tue 01-Oct-19 13:28:09

My ex refused to leave while he was still paying the mortgage. He was still here months after the divorce came through. The only thing that shifted him was his gf asked him to move in with her.

I don't know where you stand legally so you should get professional advice. He'll be waiting for you to leave so he feels like he's won.

bengalcat Tue 01-Oct-19 13:39:58

You need professional advice as to where you stand legally re ownership . I hope you are either joint outright legal owners or have a joint mortgage . I hope it’s not a situation where he’s the legal owner and on the mortgage but you’ve given what you can as ‘ rent ‘ to him and spent money on decorating etc . But professional advice from the mortgage company ( assuming you are coowners ) or a solicitor is what you need .

Clangus00 Tue 01-Oct-19 13:53:23

Well, if you can't afford to buy him out, then you can't stay in the house by yourself.
Why should you "get" the house if he's put in more money than you?
You need urgent solicitors advice about getting the house on the market and at the very least getting your legal share of the equity (he might get more as he put more in intitally).

tumbleisatwat Tue 01-Oct-19 14:04:22

As hard as it may be to accept, the fact that he cheated has no bearing on the house.

Can you get a mortgage to buy him out? If not, you just have to sit tight unfortunately.

Get legal advice.

mclover Tue 01-Oct-19 14:55:02

Go to a solicitor and they can arrange an order to sell. Have a look at divorce sites like wikivorce, gingerbread charity, mums met divorce forum - ok you aren't married or single parent but some of the advice stands

waterSpider Tue 01-Oct-19 15:55:30

Since you're not married, it's going to come down to who has their names on the property, in what shares, etc.

Basically, you need to think about what would happen if you both decided to split amicably. The fact of cheating has zero relevance to the pertinent legal & financial rules.

Bluntness100 Tue 01-Oct-19 15:59:07

He has every right to stay as do you op. The fact he cheated doesn't mean he loses that right. The law is not moralistic.

So either you buy him out, or he buys you out, or you jointly sell it and split the equity fairly.

If you can't afford to buy him out, I don't see how you can keep the house op. I'm sorry.

millymollymoomoo Tue 01-Oct-19 16:14:49

If you own the property as joint tenants then you each own 50%

You’ll have to buy his share out and be able to afford the mortgage on your own and get a mortgage company to agree to provide single mortgage

Otherwise you’ll need to sell and take your 50%

Unless you are tenants in common where you have stated different ownership %

Brakebackcyclebot Tue 01-Oct-19 16:15:46

You can't.

How do you own the property? Joint tenants? Or tenants in common in equal shares? Or tenants in common in unequal shares?

You'll need to sell the house and split the proceeds accordingly. Or he buys you out of the house and transfers you half/% of the value.

The law doesn't care that he cheated. It just cares who owns the property.

Bluntness100 Tue 01-Oct-19 17:36:00

How much equity is in the property op?

The only thing you can do is force a sale via a solicitor. He can't make you hold onto it, he either has to buy you out or agree to sell. The same goes for you.

Ss770640 Tue 22-Oct-19 20:03:11

The simple answer is: you can't.

He's waiting for you to go and vice versa.

Try to reach an agreement.

I suggest simply asking what he wants. If need be and you leave tell him you want what's owed. 50% of whatever you contributed.

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