This is a Premium feature
To use this feature subscribe to Mumsnet Premium - get first access to new features see fewer ads, and support Mumsnet.Start using Mumsnet Premium
Concerned about the safety of my children when with my ex(5 Posts)
My ex's new girlfriend and her kids regularly stay over at his house when he has our children. Through the grapevine I've heard her children have been violent many times against other children. Also that her much older child refused to live with her when she split from his dad and has not wanted contact with her since.
My ex regularly drinks at the pub before picking up the children, and most days he has them, takes them there so he can have a few drinks. I think he is becoming an alcoholic.
I am becoming worried about the safety for my children when my ex has them - are there any organisations that can help in these circumstances?
You should involve your lawyer in this as your ex is drinking before picking up the kids its dangerous for everyone.
I don't have a lawyer yet (I'm looking into legal aid)
It's worth making some appointments with solicitors for free 30 mins. They won't give you specific advice, but it's good to get an idea of what might be possible. I'm facing similar myself.
You can get child protection orders and occupation orders, but you will need evidence from either police incidents or social services. This is where it gets really tricky because unless things are really bad then of course social services won't touch it and police will only come out if there is a disturbance I feel for you OP. It's an impossible situation.
You can call social services for advice. Get them to open a case. Even if there isn't enough for them to look into it now it will be on record that you did this, if things do become worse. Could you speak to the teachers too, just to ask that they keep an eye out for any changes or anything. I know it's awful to have to do it, but these kinds of paper trails are going to be vital. Good luck.
Apply for a child arrangements order. You do not need a solicitor. You can do this yourself and pay the court fee (£215). Family court are used to people representing themselves. I used a solicitor and she messed things up; now I am representing myself and wish I had all along. The templates for documents are all on the internet. Re advice, you can ask health visitor/ school nurse/ school safeguarding officer. If you aware there are risks and choose not to act, as well as someone potentially getting injured, you are colluding with him. Xx
Please login first.