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Children’s contact with father

(4 Posts)
Mrsmememe Sun 15-Sep-19 14:39:01

I’ll try and keep this brief as much as possible.
My ex husband moved 200 miles away during our divorce 5 years ago to be with his now wife.
We had 2 sons together who are now 6 & 8, I’ve remarried and I am expecting a child with my husband, ex husband is married to a woman who has kids aged 9&16.
The divorce was straight forward and we stayed where we lived, it was my house anyway so it was a quick process.
The problem I have now is that my ex husband used to travel up to stay with family in the town to see the children alternate weekends. However due to the family moving 100 miles away, this is no longer an option.
He now fully believes that picking the kids up at 5pm on a Friday, driving 200 miles (which takes over 4.5 hours on a good day) and then leaving his home on a Sunday at 10am to be home by 2/3pm is the best option for the kids.
I honestly don’t believe that this arrangement is in the kids interests. My eldest son has become upset as he says he doesn’t like true journey and he misses out on things here he wants to do (parties, being on the football team). My ex husband says if he wants to be on a football team they’ll get him on one where he lives and he’ll just have to go every other weekend. I’ve tried to explain it doesn’t work like that but he’s just come back saying I’m brainwashing the kids.
I feel that we are going to have to go through a long legal battle for him to see common sense.
I have no issues with the kids going to their dad’s home during school holidays for half the time. It’s just during term time they suffer because they sleep in the car on the way home, then don’t sleep properly and it’s affecting their school behaviours.
My suggestion is that he travels down to see them here so that they can do the things they want to do and each parent can be with them on their weekends to see them do their clubs etc.
Again, the ex husband won’t hear of it.
He’s sent me a load of messages today saying he’s spoken to many solicitors who agree they have a home with him and the travel isn’t an issue.
He earns plenty of money, it’s not a financial objection to staying up here (I’ve even said reduced maintainance to under what he should pay if it helps but he says no).
Is anyone else in a similar situation and what would you think would be reasonable?

OP’s posts: |
Walkingdeadfangirl Sun 15-Sep-19 17:01:33

Get ready for a long expensive court case. He moved quite far away and for 5 years has been coming to see them successfully, (no reason why he cant still do that and stay in a hotel).

9/10 hours drive on a weekend just so he can spend 1 Saturday with them is awful very unreasonable and it will affect the children even more as they get older.

You need legal advice and start collecting evidence of all the problems this trip is causing on your DC.

TBH he probably doesn't think there is a problem as I imagine all the issues only become evident when they return home and he never sees them.

Mrsmememe Sun 15-Sep-19 17:53:40

@walkingdeadfangirl thanks for your reply and I think you are spot on. He doesn’t see my reasons and I don’t see his. Luckily I have a good lawyer who got me through the divorce process well and I trust them to give good advise. It’s just frustrating to spend money on something like this just to get back to common sense!

OP’s posts: |
Phillipa12 Mon 16-Sep-19 19:10:50

My boys see their dad eow and go to his house 150 miles away, they are collected at 7am on sat and we meet half way on the sun at about 5pm, they have been doing this for 3.5 years and are now 10, 5 and 4. They also spend extra time during holidays at their dads.

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