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Looking for advice on how to move forwards!

(4 Posts)
Momentumneeded Fri 13-Sep-19 15:28:42

Name changed for this.

I feel really stuck and unsure what I can do to move my divorce forwards. Just wondering if anyone has been in a similar position and what you did or any family solicitors that can provide input?!

Background: after many years of problems I started divorce proceedings. Decree Nisi went through in Spring. My Form E and financials all done and after the Decree Nisi went through I told him we needed to do financial disclosure and mediation. I provided details of local mediators recommended by friends. He wasn't happy with any of them. No idea why other than possibly they were female and he somehow thinks they will be biased to me. 🤷‍♀️ We're now mid Sep and nothing is moving forwards. He is a chronic procrastinator and prone to inaction so this is not unexpected but we are living in limbo under the same roof and it's causing me so much stress. I feel he has all the control and I'm just stuck until he decides to engage. FWIW - classic story in that we both work FT but he earns considerably more as I took time out when we had children and have been the primary carer since as have flexible hours working from home. Kids school age. Assets are house equity and pensions. His only reason for delaying things is to protect himself financially. He has no loyalty or lingering feelings. Under no illusions on this sadly.

Limited funds for legal advice but so far just paid to be told I need to move to mediation. All well and good but how do I get him there?! And how do I avoid costs mounting up and court if he won't engage?

Any words of wisdom please or just a little empathy from anyone else struggling? 🙏

OP’s posts: |
NotSuchASmugMarriedNow1 Fri 13-Sep-19 18:52:42

Arrange a mediation session and go. If he doesn't go he'll look bad. You've been - you've done what you're supposed to - you can then move on to the next step.

Palaver1 Sat 14-Sep-19 06:50:25

This is exactly my situation but I have been for mediation he refused the lawyer has step it up whereby the mediator has signed a form saying he didn’t engage .Its going to the courts.

Momentumneeded Sat 14-Sep-19 15:25:06

Thx so much @NotSuchASmugMarriedNow1 and also @Palaver1 - sorry to hear you're in the same position. Sounds like a consensus though.

Would you mind explaining what happens or what I need to do in terms of next steps if I do a meditation session and he doesn't attend/ mediator indicates he won't engage? I'm trying to do as much as I can on my own as I really can't afford much more legal advice. I applied online for the divorce and DN and that process has been straightforward but the financial consent form and child arrangements seems way more complex. Do I need to get a written settlement offer from a solicitor to present to STBXH and what happens if he then rejects it (almost a given - he's very stubborn and likes to have the upper hand). I'm not clear how it goes to court? Is there a form I need to complete?!

I've been trying to read and understand the process but find it so confusing. Any clarity would be much appreciated. ☺️

OP’s posts: |

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