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STBEXH suddenly wanting more equity after agreement, what do I do?

(8 Posts)
AMAM8916 Fri 30-Aug-19 18:47:33

I'm not sure why you think you'd get spousal maintenance? Only a court can decide if that would be the case, a solicitor can only assume that you may get it. So until a court orders it, there's nothing to say you would be awarded it.

It's unlikely you'd get spousal maintenance if you're working and able to buy him out and able to afford the mortgage on your own. It's usually only awarded in cases where one partner doesn't work at all due to staying at home to care for the kids and the marriage lasted a very long time and the working partner was able to earn 'a significant' amount more while the other totally gave up their career and can prove there was a need to be at home (children with special needs, numerous children, the working partner worked away a lot etc).

I'm not sure you can counter argue with the spousal maintenance as there's nothing set in stone about it and no order in place that you have effectively said no thanks to.

The pension however would be a sure fire way to get him to back off. You are entitled to a portion/half of that right off the bat.

If you have already been to court and been awarded spousal maintenance and forgone the entitlement, ignore what I said

NewMe2019 Fri 30-Aug-19 00:46:58

I have had legal advice. My solicitor said it's a good offer that I made and that it would be in his interest to take it as DCs are still fairly young so if he wanted more from the house, he wouldn't get this for a while as I would be allowed to live here until they turned 18. Ex wouldn't be able to get a long mortgage by then due to age and he'd have to stay on my mortgage in the meantime. Both of which I know he doesn't want.

Solicitor said I would be entitled to spousal maintenance. Ex earns a decent enough wage and I was a SAHM for many years. Now working part time in a secure, but fairly low paid job and earnings limited due to a chronic illness. It was a long marriage.

OP’s posts: |
Berthatydfil Thu 29-Aug-19 08:43:25

Ok then I’m happy to go back to court but of course we will need to start from scratch and include all income, pensions etc as well as the house equity. Please let me know how you wish to proceed.

NotSuchASmugMarriedNow1 Thu 29-Aug-19 08:38:19

Colbinabbin is absolutely right.

Show him that his insistence on getting £15k from the house would cost him half his pension or thereabouts. How much is his pension worth? Also, are you sure he would have to pay spousal support? It's quite unusual and usually only applies in cases with long marriages with high earners where someone has stayed at home and sacrificed their own career. Is this the case in your circumstances?

Lumene Thu 29-Aug-19 00:28:17

Have you taken legal advice?

NewMe2019 Thu 29-Aug-19 00:25:36

Yes I think I'll have to. I think he may have forgotten that I'm actually giving up my rights to any pension and spousal maintenance in order to get the house. He just wants a lump sum. But even if he perisisted, he wouldn't get it now anyway and would have to stay on the mortgage, neither of which he wants.

He 'joked' about having more once, months and months ago, and I did say we'll have to discuss me having some of your pension then and he did not look happy about that.

OP’s posts: |
Colbinabbin Thu 29-Aug-19 00:11:46

Counter offer with a proportional split of his pension to be transferred to your pension.

Include a claim for spousal maintenance too.

That should show him the true nature of the original offer that weighs in his favour and he may well accept the original settlement.

NewMe2019 Thu 29-Aug-19 00:04:49

Ex and I split late last year. I about Feb we agreed thw settlement. I filed for divorce and told my solicitor what we have agreed so he could draft up the financial agreement.

Decree nisi is through. I can apply for absolute from mid Sept but cannot do this until financial agreement is in place. My solicitor has sent a draft though. I've given it to ex to check (what we agreed is all there). Now he's suddenly decided to mention more equity from the house. Ffs.

Agreement was I keep the house, gets signed over to me as I put a substantial deposit in and paid about 20k doing it up. Ex paid the small mortgage for over 4 years. He gets a 5k settlement from me remortgaging into my name. I only work part time and can afford our small mortgage alone but it's very unlikely id3be lent any more. Something which I've told him.

He gets to keep his pension. It's a good one. Mine only started last year so worthless basically.

I'm also entitled to spousal maintenance as he earns nearly triple what I do (I can only work part time due to health issues). I am forgoing this in order to have the house.

Now ex has suddenly thrown up about a small inheritence he received years ago that went on our old mortgage. I had forgotten about this. It effectively means he may want nearly 15k instead of the 5k he agreed. It's extremely unlikely I'll be able to borrow this plus the mortgage that's left.

I'm annoyed. We dealt with this 6 months ago. My solicitor said I'd offered him a good deal. Ex saw 2 solicitors who obviously didn't tell him different as he's never asked for anything more. He isn't using a solicitor. We are splitting the cost of mine as it's an amicable divorce.

I don't know what to do. I'm slightly panicking as the house was going to be my security. We have 2 DCs who live with me and stay with ex 2/3 nights a week.

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