Advanced search

The final goodbye

(18 Posts)
MsNewChapter Sun 25-Aug-19 12:55:02

My divorce was finalised a couple of weeks ago but we have still been living together. Yep, it's been awful.

Our house sale completes very soon and we are going our separate ways.

I'm don't know how to deal with the final "goodbye".

What did everyone else do? In hindsight do you wish you had done it said anything different during those last moments?

OP’s posts: |
augustagain Sun 25-Aug-19 15:01:12

I am assuming you are getting divorced for very good reasons.

"Have a nice life" is sufficient.

Plan something for the day whether it's being with friends or going for a nice walk. A short break, if that's affordable. Do something for YOU.

I wish you all the best flowers

MamImHere Sun 25-Aug-19 15:07:54

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MsNewChapter Sun 25-Aug-19 15:41:49

@augustagain yes, very good reasons. I know I've done the right thing by divorcing him. Like is too short and precious to be with a bully that hurts you.

@MamImHere thankfully we do not have children. I could t bring little ones into this atmosphere, as much as I'm desperate to be a mum. But I want to be an amazing mum and I couldn't do that with him.

"Have a nice life" does seem to cover it. I just know I'll remember the goodbye for the rest of my life in some way so wondered if anyone else regretted not saying anything....

To be honest, with the way he has treated me "off you f**k" would also be appropriate, but I am of course sad that we couldn't make our marriage last and at 36 I'm having to start again.

OP’s posts: |
MarieG10 Sun 25-Aug-19 16:38:24

Why not leave at different times...perhaps you the day before etc. Say you would prefer him to be out perhaps?

Aside that then perhaps say sad it didn't work out but you are glad you both have chances now to move on and find happiness

Rainbowshine Sun 25-Aug-19 16:40:40

You don’t actually have to say anything to him. Just leave. Or a simple “I’m off then” and go.

Spanielmadness Sun 25-Aug-19 16:46:01

I don’t think you should plan something. Just go - ideally the day prior to having to be out even if you have to book into a bnb

HerRoyalNotness Sun 25-Aug-19 16:47:57

I’d just leave without a word and close the door behind you (literally and figuratively)

stucknoue Sun 25-Aug-19 16:52:16

Best wishes? See you around? I would be pleasant because there's a good chance something will come up that necessitates a conversation.

LynetteScavo Sun 25-Aug-19 20:57:48

If you want to be really nice: bye then, thank you for the good times.

If you want to be neutral say nothing, unless you have to say something, then - you know how to contact me if you need to. Bye.

I'd probably say- see ya, see ya, never wanna be ya. But I'm not known for my maturity or diplomacy.

Palaver1 Mon 26-Aug-19 07:22:13

Why bother
Your thoughts should be on the celebrations to come.
I’m not going to say a thing I’ll be thinking of having a major clean out but then I’m staying piut

justilou1 Mon 26-Aug-19 07:28:48

I would give him the wedding album and walk away. (Making sure I looked hot AF.)

augustagain Mon 26-Aug-19 07:33:36

36 is a great age to start again. Believe me, I'm in my 50s and wish I had started again at 36. You can do this. Once the worst of the pain is over, you can still live your best life. You've nearly on the other side of this divorce, so it's time to look forward. Don't let your ex have any more of your head space or time from now on.

Itsnotme123 Mon 26-Aug-19 07:47:39

I’m hopeless at goodbyes, the last time I saw my ex husbands brother, was when he was helping my husband move my stuff out of the mfh .I just said “see you around then” as I got into the removal van, knowing full well that I will never see him again. Then He came running over to me, just as the van was pulling away.

I’d probably say the same thing to my ex when the time comes, but we do have grown up children, so it’s quite possible that I would see him again.

Toddlerteaplease Mon 26-Aug-19 07:48:51

A friend of mine took his ex wife for lunch after theirs was finalised!

augustagain Mon 26-Aug-19 07:49:53

A friend of mine took his ex wife for lunch after theirs was finalised!

Now, that's classy and sophisticated! Love his style smile

Itsnotme123 Mon 26-Aug-19 07:58:41

I can’t imagine my ex taking me out for lunch, he’s far too hurt. I think spending time together like going for a walk or having lunch will not end well.

I occasionally go to the house to talk business with him and we have a cuppa and talk about the grown up children. But it’ll be awkward to spend more time there than an hour tops.

fingernailsbitten Thu 29-Aug-19 11:19:22

If my DH can walk out on our life together without so much as an explanation I'm going to come to hate and rsent him so very much. I'm hurting and swing from really wanting him to come home to hting hin so much that I hope he gets taken away by aliens so I don't have to try to deal with the hurt he's caused me.

I don't think I can be mature like the other posters here.

DH has cut me out of his daily life and also out of his family's life. We have no children. He's walked away from our pets. He seems to have no qualms about deserting all he had in our life. I'm gutted that I and the house and comfortable home and fairly finanically stable life and an annual holiday and our pets and friends weren't enough for him. I truly think he will regret his choice. I can't understand his choice. Can you live and breathe everything with a person for 25 years and then drop them like a stone?! Who does that? I cannot yet believe he and I will not grow old together. I was at a funeral yesterday and afterwards I thought 'if i die he won't even be involved in the funeral'. It'd would down to my parents or my younger brother to arrange something for my send-off. I'm 45 and I'm very very hurt and confused. What happened to make my husband abandon me and our life? He isn't interested in discussing anything at all. Now I will have to instigate and drive a divorce I don't want. Sorry for hijacking this thread.

Join the discussion

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

Join Mumsnet

Already have a Mumsnet account? Log in