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Seperated but Husband wants to come back

(13 Posts)
Fth180519 Thu 22-Aug-19 08:41:12


I need the advice of the mumsnet community. Husband left me after 6 weeks of marriage 7 weeks ago (we have a 3 year. Old DS) he moved in with his mum and step dad and I tried to move on with things.

After a massive fallout yesterday between H and his stepdad, his mum is now leaving his stepdad and H is wanting to leave their home but can't afford to rent and pay maintenance and half our mortgage. I have agreed our dog can stay - after he took him - and he is back here. I'm worried H will have nowhere to go and will ask to stay in spare room. Im in a dilema. It will have a financial hit on me if he rents, but I don't to see him on the street. 8 worry it will effect the progress I have made in my life if I allow him to return. I need advice. Help!!!!

OP’s posts: |
MsMightyTitanAndHerTroubadours Thu 22-Aug-19 08:48:08

do you feel honoured to be his fall back position??

Seriously do not let him come back!

Fth180519 Thu 22-Aug-19 09:02:03

I dont feel honoured. Things were plodding along fine before all of this unnecessary drama. Now I'm worried about childcare (FIL has a problem with me despite me doing nothing to him) and he has DS on a Wednesday while I work.

I just want to get on with my life without drama.

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waterSpider Thu 22-Aug-19 10:19:28

depending on the housing situation, not sure you can stop him returning. Is it a tenancy with both names, a mortgage?

LemonTT Thu 22-Aug-19 12:19:36

If he jointly owns the house with you he can move back in. Which is what he should do if he is otherwise homeless. No reason for society at large or even his family to house him if he already has a home. Not withstanding issues of abuse it’s what people have to do when they split.

That means you both have to address the financial aspects of your split sooner rather than later.

Skittlenommer Thu 22-Aug-19 12:23:20

I'm worried H will have nowhere to go and will ask to stay in spare room

Say no and let that be the end of it. You’re not responsible for him!

Fth180519 Thu 22-Aug-19 12:31:23

It's a joint mortgage. I don't want to go backwards. I had a very hard time handling things and only felt normal after taking antidepressants for the past week. Then all of this. But I guess I'd have to let him come back to live here if he was stuck.

OP’s posts: |
PicsInRed Thu 22-Aug-19 12:42:25

Don't let him back as you won't be able to get him out again.

His Mum wanted him? She's got him.

Skittlenommer Thu 22-Aug-19 12:57:40

It's a joint mortgage

In that case he has every right to come back.

PicsInRed Thu 22-Aug-19 13:44:43

In that case he has every right to come back.

All the more reason to say "no" in the hope that he doesn't.

Palaver1 Sat 24-Aug-19 08:10:59

He has a right to be in the house yes it’s a piss take but the home is his as well.

Palaver1 Sat 24-Aug-19 08:11:17

The sooner you sale the better

Fth180519 Sat 24-Aug-19 08:28:50

I'll be in negative equity as we only bought the house last October. Urgh.

OP’s posts: |

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