Recently separated.

[Mumofboys04]

Me and my husband have recently separated (3 weeks) we still went on our family holiday for the children’s sake and got in really well bar 3 arguments in the 2 weeks and this was only due to him messaging a girl he’s admitted he has feelings for and would be with if he wasn’t married to me (we split after this as he says he’s never loved me and only cared for me)

We are meeting tomorrow night without the children to get things in place but what do I need to know?
I feel I need to write down everything to ask so I don’t forget like I have with previous conversations.

The house is in his name but he has already said I can carry on living here and he will support me so I’m not too worried about the living situation.

As for seeing the kids, he’s already said he doesn’t know when he will see the kids (he’s moving out of the area it seems and I only moved here to be near my step children, 2 hours away from where I’m originally from. I only have his family here and very few friends so considering moving back to my family but will sacrifice my sons seeing their brothers 😩)

Any advice on the first conversation after splitting?

We had a laugh on holiday together probably more than we have the last few months of the relationship and we both want to keep it like this to make it as easy as possible which I know may be unlikely but we’re going to try

[BearO1]

Hi...its 3 days since my H left. ( hes depressed and wants time to fix himself and see if he misses me as he says feelings have changed)
Hes only called to speak to kids.
Not once asked me how I am.
I know we need to have a conversation about the kids...he has them this Friday night but not set up plans for what's next....
I'm a total mess with it all. Heads all over the place. Struggling to understand it all.
He making it very difficult for me to talk to him.

Maybe make a list of things you want to ask/sort out?

[Mumofboys04]

Ahh I’m so sorry about that! I know how your feeling!
I caught him messaging someone he works with after lying about something I already knew so had a feeling and was right! He was dead apologetic and wanted it to work until the weekend came he was depressed! Hes now been seeing a counsellor weekly which has helped him but apparently never loved anyone just settled and I was a broken project for him to fix 🤦🏼‍♀️ But now he wants to put himself first! It’s all he’s bloody done the whole relationship, he’s provided for us all but never actually done anything with the kids it’s been me.

It’s hard either his job as he works all over the country but I want routine for my little boy that now says he hates me and doesn’t love me for daddy leaving as he counts down to everything and I can’t tell him when he will next see daddy!

I’ve been working on a list tonight ready for tomorrow but stressing over it!

My car goes back Monday and at the start said I could have any car I’d like as like as I wish I didn’t have to give the truck up when we had another baby, however now that’s not the case and he’s getting me a family members ford ka! I’ve not driven a manual for almost 6 years 😩