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Divorce when husband living abroad

(6 Posts)
ihearttc Mon 12-Aug-19 19:25:03

I will try to make this as brief as possible. DH and I have been together for about 24 years and married for 15. We have a 14 and 8 year old. 4 years ago he went to work in the ME. Due to the nature of his job this is where the work is. We managed really well until Christmas this year when he took a different job in the ME and it now turns out he has met someone else and wants to get divorced. I feel heartbroken and don’t quite know where to turn. Basically put my life on hold for 4 years so he could do the work he wanted to do and this happens. I work 28 hours a week as a TA in a school and take home roughly £900 a month (although being a TA my salary is pro-rated across the year). Situation is further complicated by the fact that as DH lives/works in the ME he is non-domiciled for tax purposes so I’m assuming for CM etc it will register he earns nothing. He’s actually been quite reasonable(at the moment) and said he will sign the house over to me. It’s valued at about £285k and we have around £75k left on the mortgage so I was thinking I could just sell it and get something smaller which would take away the mortgage payments at least? It’s more the day to day stuff I’m worried about. I also have Rheumatoid Arthritis and while I’m ok at the moment there is no guarantee I’m going to be able to keep working in the future. My salary won’t pay the bills etc (and in a way I’m being selfish because I want my children to have the life they did before without me scrimping and saving for everything). We do have some money in a savings account which is there for my oldest son to go to University. It’s currently in my name...I’m assuming that will stop me claiming any benefits? Apologies for all the daft questions...feel like my whole world has just come crashing down and I don’t know what to do.

OP’s posts: |
stucknoue Mon 12-Aug-19 19:41:26

Unfortunately you are somewhat reliant on his good will. Having the house is a good opening gambit and aim for 15% of net pay until the eldest starts university and 10% until the youngest. Tell him he should pay the kids an allowance directly once they are at university. Not all men are unreasonable, so far I've had decent offers from my h, it's just so annoying that they think they can trade us in for a new model when we have sacrificed so much for them

ihearttc Mon 12-Aug-19 19:45:40

Problem is I’ve got no way of proving his net pay...nothing comes into his UK bank account. I know roughly what it is but I can’t prove it. Boys are taking it really hard especially the oldest one.

OP’s posts: |
MysteryTripAgain Tue 13-Aug-19 04:10:01

To OP

Have been there. My Ex worked overseas (still does) and we just drifted apart.

Is your husband working for a UK registered company in the Middle East? If so the CMS can make an assessment.

If not you can apply to the Courts for a Child Maintenance Order as I remember that Middle East Countries are not REMO. However, if you know the exact county it might be worth a check. Link is;

www.gov.uk/government/publications/countries-where-you-can-enforce-child-maintenance-decisions

If your partner is on a high Tax Free salary which is common in the Middle East countries you may entitled to Spousal Maintenance taking into account that your take home is £900 a month. For this you will need to know what he earns and seek advice as there are no set formulas for Spousal Maintenance and will have to be Court ordered.

Saving will effect benefits if over limits. Link is;

www.entitledto.co.uk/help/savings

Good luck. Post again if you have more questions as that is what MN is for.

ihearttc Tue 13-Aug-19 05:26:59

Thank you that’s really helpful. He’s in Dubai currently but was in KSA for the first 3 years. He’s definitely on a high salary...at a guess it’s something over £100k but some of that is living costs over there which his company pays for.

The company does have a UK office but he is paid by the Dubai part so not sure how that would work.

Looking at that link there is no way I’d get any benefits...the savings are all in my name and there is way over the limit.

OP’s posts: |
MysteryTripAgain Tue 13-Aug-19 09:07:50

To OP

Likely that your partner is employed locally for the purposes of Visa and Work Permit in Dubai. REMO does not cover Dubai so that leaves a Court Order.

I don't know anyone who has been down this route, so suggest you need to speak to a family solicitor to get started. Trying to do it yourself might be tempting to save some money, but if procedures are not followed in the correct order and time limits (if there are any) it could be a long time before any results appear as you may need to re-apply if not done correctly first time around.

Based on my own divorce I can advise that courts do not move quickly in the UK.

Good luck.

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