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How can I help my friend(3 Posts)
My oldest friend has been going through a bit a rocky patch after a 10yr marriage. A female colleague of his at work was leaning on him emotionally and my friend could see what was coming, despite his protests nothing was going on. Last week he told her that things have changed. He hasn’t admitted to sleeping with her, but said things have gone up a notch and he doesn’t love my friend anymore. They have two children under 10yrs and he is the main bread winner, though they both work. I don’t have good memories of my own parents split, but I’ve never been through anything like this as a wife. I feel so deeply hurt for her and the kids. I don’t know what to say, and how to support her. I want to kick him in the balls with my biggest boots on, but most of all I want to help my friend weather this storm. Any advice from anyone who has been through similar, on what they did and didn’t appreciate from their friends would be really helpful.
Regular contact was the most important thing. Just a quick text to say hi or a call made all the difference, as some friends back away, not knowing what to say. Of course there were lots of other wonderful things - offers of childcare, bringing meals over - but those thoughtful friends who kept in touch regularly got me through the early dark days.
My best friends have been invaluable for me the last few weeks - listening to my constant moaning, giving me advice, coming to sit with me in the evenings so I'm not stuck in alone because I have the kids with me, distracting me, chocolate, wine and generally making me feel better about myself because my confidence is so knocked.
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