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Divorce or not

(10 Posts)
dotnetmum Sat 03-Aug-19 12:07:05

I have been working up the last months to decide to divorce my husband of 25 years. We live separate life the last few years, the last year he even works abroad and comes home once a month and when we are together it is stressful. He is bad tempered and I think the term is narcissistic.
My children are grown and I inherited some money 2 years ago when my father died. I thought with that I could buy my husband out and keep our house. (50/50)
But now my lawyers say that it is not clear if inheritance can be kept separate!
I feel even more distressed now, should I go ahead with asking for divorce? I feel I need to for my sanity but what will happen financially, the house etc. At least my children will be fine, my son is supporting me to get divorced.
I really don't need this stress though.

OP’s posts: |
HennyPennyHorror Sat 03-Aug-19 15:01:14

In most cases, all funds are split 50/50. That can include his savings if he has any....pensions are also taken into account.

If you do split 50-50, you will still get half the value of the house and half of any money he half of your own money.

But sometimes, other arrangements are made.

Do you work? Does he? Who is the bigger earner?

Andallofasuddenitsover Sat 03-Aug-19 15:05:20

You wouldn’t be able to keep your inheritance to yourself OP, everything is in the marital pot in divorce proceedings, and really, that’s absolutely fair, isn’t it!

millymollymoomoo Sat 03-Aug-19 15:54:24

I don’t believe with the statement that in most cases assets are split 50:50. The inheritance will most likely form part of the overall marital pot but how that pot is split will depend on a number of factors.

Both parties are entitled to a fair share of the pot - what is emotive is that does not mean the same

Seek legal advice

Hotterthanahotthing Sat 03-Aug-19 16:06:13

Do you have pensions?
The value of pensions are taken into account.
For me my NHS pension was worth my keeping and worth very little split in two(I will still have to work when I get it but that's another thread).DH had a small pension(stopped paying when we married I found).
He.had a lot of savings he wanted to keep so he kept savings I kept pension House50:50.
I would file for divorce and see what can be done,if he's difficult it can take a while but so worth doing.

MrsBertBibby Tue 06-Aug-19 08:03:42

An inheritance received at the end of the marriage and not mi gled with marital assets is NOT matrimonial property, and therefore may not be liable to be shared.

However, it could be that your H might get a larger share than you of the matrimonial pot in order to ensure both of your needs are met.

dotnetmum Tue 06-Aug-19 09:08:15

We both have good jobs all our life's and we own a nice house. All this I believe should be 50/50 and that is fair. But not the inheritance.
It took my a long time to decide to leave him. We are not young any more. It is scary.
He calls me names, shouts at me and blames me for everything. Afterwards he says sorry. He spoils it when we get together with my family. Things can be nice when I go along with what he wants to do. This got worst over time but somehow I held on to the believe that he can go back to how he was when we first met.
Until now.
The inheritance part made me feel secure, without it I am scare to leave now.
But I want to, it is too late to try marriage counselling, should I just put up with it?

OP’s posts: |
waterSpider Tue 06-Aug-19 18:21:54

First, just to check that this is England (rather than Scotland).

There are no hard and fast rules on how an inheritance would be treated … but the longer the marriage continues after you receive it, the more likely it will be considered part of the pot to be divided.

This piece may help:

dotnetmum Wed 07-Aug-19 06:26:33

Thank you, this is a good article.

OP’s posts: |
Coop14 Wed 07-Aug-19 06:46:41

I wouldnt let this new info stop you from getting a divorce if you are really unhappy and it's not fixable x

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