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Toxic marriage

(9 Posts)
Tabsvik79 Sat 13-Jul-19 00:38:37

I've posted before about my toxic marriage. I know it's toxic. But he just refuses to leave. Instead he manipulates and twist everything. His new ploy is to tell our 5 year old (who adores him) that "mummy says he has to leave and you won't see me anymore". Now I've never ever said anything like that. So now the dilemma is that she goes into school today and ends up crying cause she thinks he is gonna leave while she is at school. Her teachers are then having to console her which obviously breaks my heart cause I don't want her to think or feel like that. So now I'm stuck........... stuck in a toxic marriage with no one to talk to about all this

OP’s posts: |
Passtherioja Sat 13-Jul-19 00:47:18

This will just carry on and on...get him to move out ASAP. The teachers will support your DD in school as a real activity and not one of his made up ones.

If she's going to be made to go through that process there needs to be an end point to it -at the moment he's using it to trying to stop you moving him out!

Nothingmuch Sat 13-Jul-19 08:02:53

Will he actually leave ?

Mintjulia Sat 13-Jul-19 08:13:28

Talk to a solicitor. If he won’t leave, isn’t abusive and is named on the mortgage or rental agreement, I don’t think you can force him.
You may need to force the issue but get legal advice. The sooner your daughter is away from such a manipulative selfish creep, the better. For you and her. brew

Otter71 Sat 13-Jul-19 09:28:56

If he won't leave you may have to. I stuck a toxic relationship for too long because of just the issues that you describe. Mine are now teenage and I only left at Xmas. My kids now think that his rubbish is more normal and don't want to know me because I am too wierd, rubbish at everything that counts, and mean to him.. And I still ended up going except he kicked me out. Go now and get back to sanity while your dc will recover better.

Tabsvik79 Sun 04-Aug-19 16:19:39

Thanks everyone. He refuses to leave but it's my name on the lease he is just down has living in the house. I just constantly feel like I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place.

OP’s posts: |
Otter71 Sun 04-Aug-19 17:49:04

If it's rental and he isn't down on the rental then if you really want out talk about changing the locks with the landlord. He can't make you let him stay. Do it before the 5yo is a teenager thinking manipulation is normal like my two,🤣🤣🤣

Yeahnahmum Mon 05-Aug-19 13:57:48

Change the ducking locks!!! Put his stuff out. Let the police/neigbours/school now

And tell your dd it isnt true what he is saying

You are not stuck in this marriage
You have a choice
So dont choose to accept his behaviour
Kick him out and have a friend (a few?) In the house when you do. And let your dd sleep elsewhere that day because it is probably going to be a bit nasty

But girl. Choose you!!!

You are not stuck.
You are not glued to him
This is your house.
Not his
Stop exposing your dd to this maddness

You are not stuck
You can make a choice
Even moving out yourself. It is all up to you now and time to stop hiding behind excuses.

Changeyourlife!

lovealab Mon 05-Aug-19 14:32:01

If you want hime gone, then kick him out! Change the locks whilst he's at work & remove his belongings from the house.....I removed my ExH front door key whilst he was in the shower, he went to work blissfully unaware! I put his belongings in the garage......don't be on your own though as he's bound to come home looking for trouble! Good luck, its not an easy decision to make no matter how you feel....

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